Kids say the darnest things

People keep saying I should write down the things my kids say. I haven't done it but I thought I would share some of the more memorable ones courtesy of my oldest, now 5 year old daughter.

1. After catching a ride with me to school for the last couple of weeks, Tesla was asked by her father if she thought the bus driver will have given away her seat. Tesla responded "No." When questioned further she said "Of course my seat hasn't been given away. It's attached to the bus."

2. I was trying to get Tesla to practice for her spelling test which wasn't going very well.
"Mom is this about that spelling test?"
"Yes"
"I'm not going that day."
"Where are you going to be?"
"I'm going to Africa."
"What are you going to do in Africa?"
"I'm going to wear sandals and play with my new friends. And I'm leaving tomorrow and I'm not coming back until the day after the spelling test."

3. "Mom, Anna and I are going on a trip to Africa without you and Dad. We are leaving tomorrow because all the airports are closed after that and I think you should get me a new twitterbee as a good luck gift."

4. She actually said "Kill the Jews" as the first play date we had with an family in the community. I had to do some major explaining about the story of Esther from the Bible; which she was trying to re-enact. There haven't been any more play dates with them. For the record we are not anti-semantic.

5. When Tesla was two we were driving down the road and Karl was bugging her. Out of nowhere she says "Daddy you're dickless"
Me "What? Where did you learn that? That is terrible! You need to appologize to Daddy right now..."
Two weeks later "Daddy your dickuless" I think she was trying to say ridiculous.

Slide Shows

In the last year or two we have attended many different events which have included a slide show. (Funerals, weddings, birthday's, and retirement parties) I haven't looked for a list of "rules" for making slide shows but I'm fairly confident that the following guidelines would hold.



1. Don't use pictures that are out of focus.

2. Don't include pictures that are not about the celebrated person.

3. Play the whole song through before changing to a new song.

4. Choose one or two transition types for slide changes.

5. Show each slide for the same amount of time.

6. Choose one font type for the entire slide show.



I am sure there are a number of guidelines to follow but these are the ones that currently stand out in my mind.



Oddly enough my husband commented on this after departing from the most recent event. He noticed the music and blurrly pictures. I say oddly because Karl isn't particularly picky about visual things. I'm not surprised he noticed the music but the pictures...