7 degrees of seperation

There are events in our lives that make time stop; sometimes its just for a second. These events aren't always tragic but many of us can remember where we were when we heard about JFK's assassination, the Berlin Wall coming down, Columbine, 911. I don't remember JFK's assassination but I do remember watching the news about the wall and I remember coming home from work and being horrified as I watched live news coverage of kids fleeing from their school. I remember driving to school to coach volleyball and hearing about a plane flying into the north tower. I remember thinking that is must have been a little plane that lost control then hearing the rest of the story after volleyball practice in the staff room. I remember watching the replays on TV. I remember these events; I remember where I was, what I was doing and I remember the feelings I felt. These events were significant. I am saddened for the families even though I didn't know them.

Recently in Calgary there was a horrible murder-suicide. 5 people were killed; 2 of them were children. There was one survivor; a little girl who is the same age and shares the same name as my youngest daughter. When the investigation was done, it was concluded that the father was responsible. Why? Why would someone do that to their own family? I remember where I was when I heard. I remember what I felt and thought. I remember grieving for the grandparents and the little girl. I remember thinking about the last moments this family experienced.

I also remember calling my friend and learning that this family, the one in the paper, was closely associated with my friends. I didn't know the Lall family but I do know people that did. Suddenly the horrific events happened are only 2 degrees of seperation from me. They had friends and family who loved them. My friends have pictures of them in their childhood albums sitting around the table. They have pictures of their families together, 3 generations, sitting on the front lawn enjoying an evening together.

When you hear something like this on the news you are disturbed, shaken, saddened. You are also removed. When you know someone who knew the family, you are disturbed, shaken and saddened on a whole new level. But when you knew the Lalls you grieve. You remember a lifetime of who they were and how they were a part of your life.

My heart goes out to my friends... who have lost their friends.