Who is in Charge Here?

I'm finally ready to admit that I'm not really in charge. The last two days have made that crystal clear. Truthfully I should have known when we moved Tesla out of the crib. At that point she discovered that she could get out of bed on her own and proceeded to do it... a lot. I tried everything. One night I walked her back to bed 45 times in 25 minutes. I didn't say a word and it still didn't work. We even put a gate on her bedroom door since she could open her door. It takes a lot of work, time and energy to put Tesla to bed; nap times included.

When you have a baby they tell you to feed on demand. I wonder if this set us up to put them in charge. I mean really, right from birth we let them decide when they are going to sleep and eat. Anna, number two baby is completely mixed up. She likes to sleep all day and eat all night. The first nine weeks consisted of her crying from 2 to 3:30 am every night. She stopped that... but she still would prefer to eat during the night. At least twice a week I can't get her to eat between 7 am and 2 pm. So I decided that it's time to help sort her out or we could be in real trouble. They get more persistant the older they get. I've cut her night time feedings to 1 possibly 2. Realistically she should be able to sleep from 8 to 8 without a feeding. This is where is becomes clear that I'm not really in charge. If I was in charge, Tesla would go back to sleep at 6 am or she would play by herself until the rest of us got up. Instead on Monday morning she gets up... crying. I think Ok you're still tired. I offer her my bed. No. I offer her her bed. No. I offer her to sit quietly and read her books. No. If she wasn't sharing a room with Anna she would be in it crying by herself. Alas they share a room. Her Dad takes over. Great! Until he leaves for work at 6:20. More crying. Now I hear Anna stirring on the baby monitor. I have a talk with Tesla about not being the only one in the house and if she wants to be up fine but there are still people sleeping and she is not to wake them up with crying. It works!!! One point for me!!! Maybe I am in charge.

On to Anna. Last night I feed her at 8. I feed her at 11. She woke up at 12:30. I gave her a soother. She woke up at 2:00. I let her cry until Karl said are you going to get that? Not a chance. He got it because he was worried that Tesla would wake up. She woke up at 2:30. I rocked her and realized she isn't hungry just unsettled. Back to bed by 2:40. Tesla woke up at 4. Crying. Her blankets had fallen off and she was cold. Anna woke up at 4:30. I feed her. Tesla woke up at 7. Her Dad left for work at 7:20... so now I'm up. I haven't had 3 hours of sleep in a row for weeks and I know I'm not running this show.

So nap time today... Tesla has given up her naps. I still insist she sits in her room and reads books by herself for an hour. She always spends the last 20 minutes calling "Mom is it done?" Today I decide Tesla should nap. Her Dad and I are tired of the whining and know she is tired. If she has a nap we chase her to bed until 11:00. If she doesn't have a nap we have whining and crying from 3 until bed time. It's a tough transition. So I nurse Anna and put her to bed. I start reading to Tesla, thinking she might fall asleep while I read to her. That is until Anna started crying. Then I think maybe if I let Anna cry she will fall asleep again. Until it gets so bad I put the book down, burp Anna, feed her some more. Mean while Tesla is dancing around the room, having found her second wind. Why can't she go somewhere else? Why does she always want to be with me? Once Anna is asleep I finish Tesla's book. I tuck her into bed and successfully have her quiet, even while I rock Anna back to sleep. (Her sister woke her up when I convinced her to be quiet) 10 minutes later... Mom I have to go to the bathroom. It's legitimate. I tell her she can read books quietly in her room. Which she is doing right now. Her sister is asleep in the same room.

For 2 whole minutes I was in charge. The battle was fought and I won. In 10 more minutes quiet time will be over and it will start again.