The great loss of something so wonderful...

I've been working with teenagers for 15 years. About a month ago I found out that one of the teens I worked with had died from a drug overdose. He died in 2006 but I hadn't heard until now. I was struck with an intense sadness. Two weeks later a former student of mine committed suicide. He was 21 and had struggled with a crack addiction for most of his young adult life. It makes me so sad. I'm so sad at the lost potential of who these young men were and what they were becoming. When I walk into a classroom at the being of a school year I am excited to meet each of my students. In a year we spend a lot of time together and we learn a lot about each other and I love them. I love the rawness of who they are; the emotions, the creativity, the humor and the glimpse of who they are going be as adults. When I think of these two boys I remember them and the potiential I saw in them. What a loss. It's so sad that they will never reach the full potential of who they were. The drugs dragged them down and ruined them.

I'm saddened even more when I realize the struggle they both had. I believe Ky committed suicide because he wanted to break free of the drugs and he couldn't. His addiction ultimately beat him down. I can't even imagine the struggle. Both of these boys were always trying to get it right with themselves, with God and those around them.

Recently one of my neighbors caught her husband having an affair. Again I am struck by the brokeness of people and it makes me sad. I am sad for her and her family but I mostly sad for her husband. I am sad because he also struggles, like the boys, making a bad decision that ultimately has long term consquences. He is still living and breathing but I would bet anything he is as broken hearted as the two boys.

All these things remind me of the love God has for us and the patience. I sit here crying for these people and their brokeness; saddened by the lost potiential of who these people could be and I wonder how great is the love God has for us that He know how broken we all are. He knows our struggles and He patiently waits for us to come around. How sad He must be when we don't reach our full potential.

My husband loves a good joke... or what he perceives is a good joke. Every night he climbs into bed before me and plants himself in the middle of the bed. Every night I climb in and say "Can you move over a little bit?" Every night he responds by extending his arm until its hanging over the edge of the bed and says "What? I'm hanging off the edge" Every Night.

One night I respond with "This isn't funny anymore. We have been married for over 8 years and just for fun lets say there are 300 days in the year. That means I have heard this joke about 2400 times. It's not funny anymore."

Him - "I'm aiming for 10000" HA HA HA

This is my husband. The man who puts the kids toys under my pillow at night before I come to bed. I've even found a few between the sheet and bed. So I should have known...

Yesterday he calls me from work and asks what is a mill. Mill... a unit of measurement? A place that grounds wheat into flour? No... MIL. Somebody read my blog. Somebody who has been asked numerous times if he read my blog finally did. "Are you mad?" NO. "What did you think?" NOTHING.

Should have known...

I had a roast in the crockpot when he got home. "Would you like me to check the roast? Don't want to dry it out. It will keep cooking if we turn it off. Look at the thermometer it's close lets take it out..." On and On and On...nope not mad... full of one liners and ready to milk it dry...

just like all the other jokes...