A lesson to be learned

Christmas is quickly approaching and everyone is hunting for those perfect gifts for their loved ones. Gifting is a really art. Some people are so good at it and some are not. One year my Grandma gave my cousin an opened pair of nylons and her sister a shower cap. We have all got those "gifts". Maybe not those exact ones but we have all received the unwanted. In fact we've probably all given an unwanted too.

Each year we invite our friends over and have a white elephant gift exchange. The rule is you have to bring a gift to the party but it has to be something you already own but don't want. The first year we through the party I really didn't want to make everyone buy another $20 gift; stuff bought with no one special in mind; just more stuff. You would not believe the things people have brought over the years. There are always candles, some Christmas ornaments, Cd's or DVDs, souvenirs gifts... and there are some fun things...the old Walkman, a 10 gallon cowboy hat, and a really ugly soup bowl. We are a society of stuff. The thing is that the gifts that show up at our party are usually things that are being regifted.

Somewhere along the line we have become entitled. We all expect to get a gift from each of our family members and we expect it to be good. But what happens when we are disappointed? I've pouted but my guess is so has everyone else. We pout, cry, say rude things, tell our friends, stomp down the street, etc. We have all done it. My girlfriend tells me that she has a family member who has been heard saying "Well, we will have to return this, won't we!" immediately after opening a gift. We are entitled.

Last year we had an exchange student from Germany. Her family had made a big sacrifice to send her to Canada for 6 months and had decided not to send her any Christmas presents. They felt that the cost of sending the parcels and the time it would take to get them here was not feasible. Knowing this was the situation a lot of our friends and family decided to include her in their lists. On Christmas day our exchange student was fully expecting to sit and watch us indulge ourselves in our gift opening. She was completely taken aback when she realized there were gifts for her too. She was Grateful. Grateful someone had thought of her! The pleasure and joy radiated from her. Her smile was so big. She genuinely smiled even though she knew that some of her presents would stay in Canada because she couldn't take them on the plane. It wasn't what she got that made her happy it was that someone had thought of her.

As Christmas approaches this year and I try desperately to think of things my loved ones will enjoy and appreciate; I think of our exchange student. I want to get my loved ones good gifts. Things that show them I thought of them and I appreciate them. I am sure my loved ones are trying to do the same. So this year I am going to try to be like our exchange student. I am going to be grateful that someone thought of me. This year if I get something I don't want, it really isn't going to matter because it's just nice to be remembered. Thanks Lena for a lesson well taught!

In Memory of Steve

A friend recently asked me why I haven't blogged about Steve. I don't know how to write about it. It was hard to write about a family I only know through someone else. It was hard to write about some youth I have worked with over the years but I don't know how to write about the death of a friend.



Steve has been my friend since High School, through Bible College and into adulthood. He became a missionary in Africa, who's greatest desire was to teach people how to read so they could read the word of God. The truth is Steve and I were not as close in recent years partly because we were on different continents and partly because we were at different stages in our lives. The last time I communicated with Steve was just before he was killed. We were chatting on facebook about a youth group we had both worked with, people we had lost touch with and facebook. One thing that struck me then was that Steve didn't give up on people no matter how broken they were or how they hurt or disappointed him. He was looking for an old friend on facebook that everyone else had given up on. He was a people lover and a God lover. He was making a difference in a number of people's lives.



There are so many levels of grief that come with Steve's passing. Most of my high school and college memories include Steve. A group of us met after his memorial to reminisce the old days. I realized as I drove into the parking lot I was looking for the cars we all drove in High School. It was like I had taken a step back in time. I grieve with memories of a time that has long since past and a boy I knew very well from that time.



Then there is the grief of who Steve was as an adult. This Steve I didn't know as well but I am still saddened by his loss. A man who loved God, people and Africa. His memorial was so sad and uplifting at the same time as people from around the world shared how he had impacted their lives. How he had taught people to read, played with the children, smiled on them, offered a helping hand... and I am so sad for their loss.



Mostly I am sad for his wife and family whom I have known for a very long time in very different capacities.



Finally I am just sad that someone I know died. Someone so young with so much more to give.



I am going to finish with two things. The first is a memory from my high school grad and the second is the email that Steve's brother sent out with the news of his death.



Steve came to my Grade 12 grad. It was pouring rain that night and Steve went to get the car. A group of us sat waiting for him to return. After a great amount of time Steve returned on foot. He said he had a flat tire and needed the guys to come help him change it. Later we heard the guys had stripped down to their boxers to change the tire as they were scared to get oil on their good clothes. What most people don't know is how Steve got the flat tire in the first place. Steve had this old Bowmount car that he was so proud of. The car was a bit quirky and one of its quirks was that when you put the car in reverse the speedometer still registered a speed. In a newer car the speedometer sits at zero when you are in reverse. So Steve decided to see how fast his car could go in reverse... through the parkade. He was racing around backwards and hit a curb; ultimately causing the flat tire. It was pretty funny.

Here is the letter announcing Steve's death.

Hi Everyone, As you may or may not know my brother Steve has been chasing one of his grand dreams of cycling across Africa - He went to Africa at the end of June to teach at a conference on Literacy of West Africa.- After that he's been riding since the beginning of August and has crossed much of West Africa.- On September 21 he last communicated with us via email and his blog http://justaboutcrazy.blogspot.com/ from Zinder, Niger- His plan was to cycle across the northern tip of Nigeria into Moroua, Cameroon and meet up with a friend from his time there. He also mention he'd probably would not have access to communication until he arrived- He was planning to arrive on September 30. BUT he never showed up.- After worrying for a few days we started to get worried. - Sunday Steve's contact in Cameroon phoned us worried about where Steve was- On Monday Mom and Dad register him with the Canadian Government as ' Missing persons Abroad' and contacted the Embassy in Nigeria.- We always expected he'd show up eventually with one of his normal crazy, bizarre stories. That was not to be this time:Today (Tuesday) we got word back from the Embassy and the Government that they had found Steve's body in a police station in Northern Nigeria: - Steve was killed in a car accident and died back on September 26. - The embassy is sending a team of people up there and we'll get more details then. Steve died in the midst of fulfilling his dream in a place where God gave Steve's heart a great love and longing for. Steve has gone home to be with his Lord and Saviour Jesus, and I will miss him till the day I get to see him again. Please prayer for our family and his friends in our time of loss. Dave Rehn

I'm SO disappointed with my Realtor

Let me start by stating the following:

1. I am aware that the real estate market is not what it used to be.
2. As my husband continues to point out... I really don't know what a realtor does behind the scenes.

I am having a problem with my realtor. In fact I am having a problem with all Realtors. Near the beginning of Sept. my husband and I met with a realtor about listing our house. This realtor arrived at our house with a thick duo tang filled with printouts of every bungalow for sale in our area and every bungalow that has sold in our area in the last month. The realtor went through the duo tang with us and when she reached the last page it had a summary:

Highest sale price: $ X
Middle sale price: $ X
Lowest sale price: $ X

Average sale price: $ X

You should sell for $ X.

It sounds reasonable, except all the numbers were the same because only one bungalow had sold in our area.

Here's the problem. I'm a math teacher and average is not the only way to assess data and is in this case not the best way to interpret the data. Median would be important. This is the middle point between highest and lowest. But at the end of the day I would like to know the mode. What is the price that occurs most often.

I had a bigger problem with this. ONLY ONE HOUSE HAD SOLD SO HOW CAN YOU MAKE ANY CONCLUSIONS ON THAT? AND HOW CAN YOU RECOMMEND I SELL FOR THE SAME PRICE AS THAT ONE LOWLY HOUSE?

In the next breath this realtor told us we would need to lower our price after the first week and probably lower again after another week or two. She also told us that she no longer did realtor showings (when they bring all their colleagues over for a showing) since the big boom they stopped doing that and she had never sold in our area.

I wanted a second opinion. The house next door had recently sold so I called the realtor. She was going on holiday's and wanted us to meet with her after she got back. Ok. That was our first mistake. We agreed to wait. She met with us. She lived up the street and had sold many houses in our area. She suggested a price that was closer to what we were thinking and she did realtor showings. And we signed up with her. However, she doesn't do open houses because in her experience people don't buy from open houses. Also since the market is a bit slower she wanted us to sign up longer than 60 days. Ok. That was our second mistake. We signed up for a looooong time.

We were only on the market for a week before she asked us to lower our price. She sent us an email with all the bungalows for sale in Northwest Calgary and we agreed we were listed at the high end and didn't have the granite counter tops to support it.

In the mean time our friends and family that were looking at our house on line we saying things like... there are a lot of spelling mistakes in the write up... the pictures are really dark.... what a bad picture... I can't see your house in this picture because half your neighbor's house is also in the picture.

We told her about the spelling mistakes. She said she would fix them. We told her were getting negative feedback about the pictures. She said that she asked around the office and everyone felt they were fine oh and by the way she thinks we may need to lower the price.

After five weeks we get an email from our realtor. She thinks we should lower our price. We told her we couldn't do that and could she change the pictures since we were still getting negative feedback. We also asked if we needed to have our house staged and were told no. We double checked to make sure our house was still priced similar to the other bungalows and it was. She said she would come and take some new pictures. That was last week. As of today, one picture has been changed but not the one we were most upset about. The spelling mistakes have not been fixed. I realize that spelling mistakes wouldn't chase a buyer away. However the write is written very sloppy, has spelling mistakes and bad pictures. I must ask DOES SHE REALLY WANT TO SELL OUR HOUSE? She has us for a loooong time. .

So here is my opinion of Realtors in Calgary based on my experience with these two. They lived the easy life during the boom and now they don't know how work to sell a house. When the boom was on... they would put the house on MLS and set a time and day to receive offers. They would show up on that day and there would be a line up of buyers who were willing to pay more than the asking price. The realtor would look at all the offers and take the best one. At the end of the day they had made huge amounts of money. During that time they forgot how to work. Now that the market has slowed down they don't know what to do. They put the house on MLS and wait for the buyers to come. They don't network with realtor showings, they don't do open houses, they don't send out flyer's... they don't know how to find buyers. So they pressure the seller to lower the asking price and an update gets sent out to all the other Realtors to remind them that there is a house for sale but now at a lower price. If that doesn't work then they ask the seller to lower the price again so they can send out a new update. When we lower our price by $30 000 she loses loose change in commission but we loose years of mortgage payments.