Christmas is quickly approaching and everyone is hunting for those perfect gifts for their loved ones. Gifting is a really art. Some people are so good at it and some are not. One year my Grandma gave my cousin an opened pair of nylons and her sister a shower cap. We have all got those "gifts". Maybe not those exact ones but we have all received the unwanted. In fact we've probably all given an unwanted too.
Each year we invite our friends over and have a white elephant gift exchange. The rule is you have to bring a gift to the party but it has to be something you already own but don't want. The first year we through the party I really didn't want to make everyone buy another $20 gift; stuff bought with no one special in mind; just more stuff. You would not believe the things people have brought over the years. There are always candles, some Christmas ornaments, Cd's or DVDs, souvenirs gifts... and there are some fun things...the old Walkman, a 10 gallon cowboy hat, and a really ugly soup bowl. We are a society of stuff. The thing is that the gifts that show up at our party are usually things that are being regifted.
Somewhere along the line we have become entitled. We all expect to get a gift from each of our family members and we expect it to be good. But what happens when we are disappointed? I've pouted but my guess is so has everyone else. We pout, cry, say rude things, tell our friends, stomp down the street, etc. We have all done it. My girlfriend tells me that she has a family member who has been heard saying "Well, we will have to return this, won't we!" immediately after opening a gift. We are entitled.
Last year we had an exchange student from Germany. Her family had made a big sacrifice to send her to Canada for 6 months and had decided not to send her any Christmas presents. They felt that the cost of sending the parcels and the time it would take to get them here was not feasible. Knowing this was the situation a lot of our friends and family decided to include her in their lists. On Christmas day our exchange student was fully expecting to sit and watch us indulge ourselves in our gift opening. She was completely taken aback when she realized there were gifts for her too. She was Grateful. Grateful someone had thought of her! The pleasure and joy radiated from her. Her smile was so big. She genuinely smiled even though she knew that some of her presents would stay in Canada because she couldn't take them on the plane. It wasn't what she got that made her happy it was that someone had thought of her.
As Christmas approaches this year and I try desperately to think of things my loved ones will enjoy and appreciate; I think of our exchange student. I want to get my loved ones good gifts. Things that show them I thought of them and I appreciate them. I am sure my loved ones are trying to do the same. So this year I am going to try to be like our exchange student. I am going to be grateful that someone thought of me. This year if I get something I don't want, it really isn't going to matter because it's just nice to be remembered. Thanks Lena for a lesson well taught!
2 comments:
One solution for those that never seem to get it right is agreeing to donate to a charity in each other's name. Might as well get a tax receipt and do some good than get stuck with another tea pot. (I wish I'd done this years ago!)
I think you've hit it - part of the problem with feeling discontented at Christmas is that we've come to expect gifts. Yet even something small, that someone picked out because it made them think of you, is special.
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