Searching for a Better Name

Engineers, Knick Knacks and Short Deadlines

2010-06-18T09:38:00.005-06:00

There was a clip on the news last night involving the BP president being questioned by a number of USA politicians. He really didn't have any answers or solutions or apologies. They showed a picture of an oil saturated pelican and I'm so sickened by the sadness of it all. Really can't they do more? I saw Apollo 13 when the guy comes into the room full of engineers with a box of knick knacks, dumps it on the table and says you have the weekend to figure out a solution or those guys die. Where are those engineers now and can BP please hire them because they got the job done. Unlike the current problem solvers. Seriously we are going to plug the hole with dirt and golf balls and its going to stop the flow. Have you ever tried to plug a volcano with dirt and golf balls and expected it to stop the flow of lava? Forget the heat for a minute and just think about the pressure. I admit I don't fully understand the factors involved in shutting down the leak but really the environment and wildlife are at stake here. So gather up a box of knick knacks, get your engineers together and give them a painfully short deadline to fix the problem.

A Few of My Favorites

2010-05-27T13:37:00.004-06:00

Unposted

2010-05-27T13:30:00.002-06:00

Most days I have a blog entry written in my head. My more recent blogs have been composed while doing yard work but like most days it never makes it to the computer. I usually forget what I wanted to write about by the time I sit down at the computer or I start and never finish. Well today I finished two but they are so old they appear back when they were started. Old. Rotten and smelly by now.

Kids say the darnest things

2010-03-24T17:39:00.003-06:00

People keep saying I should write down the things my kids say. I haven't done it but I thought I would share some of the more memorable ones courtesy of my oldest, now 5 year old daughter.

1. After catching a ride with me to school for the last couple of weeks, Tesla was asked by her father if she thought the bus driver will have given away her seat. Tesla responded "No." When questioned further she said "Of course my seat hasn't been given away. It's attached to the bus."

2. I was trying to get Tesla to practice for her spelling test which wasn't going very well.
"Mom is this about that spelling test?"
"Yes"
"I'm not going that day."
"Where are you going to be?"
"I'm going to Africa."
"What are you going to do in Africa?"
"I'm going to wear sandals and play with my new friends. And I'm leaving tomorrow and I'm not coming back until the day after the spelling test."

3. "Mom, Anna and I are going on a trip to Africa without you and Dad. We are leaving tomorrow because all the airports are closed after that and I think you should get me a new twitterbee as a good luck gift."

4. She actually said "Kill the Jews" as the first play date we had with an family in the community. I had to do some major explaining about the story of Esther from the Bible; which she was trying to re-enact. There haven't been any more play dates with them. For the record we are not anti-semantic.

5. When Tesla was two we were driving down the road and Karl was bugging her. Out of nowhere she says "Daddy you're dickless"
Me "What? Where did you learn that? That is terrible! You need to appologize to Daddy right now..."
Two weeks later "Daddy your dickuless" I think she was trying to say ridiculous.

Slide Shows

2010-03-19T10:44:00.006-06:00

In the last year or two we have attended many different events which have included a slide show. (Funerals, weddings, birthday's, and retirement parties) I haven't looked for a list of "rules" for making slide shows but I'm fairly confident that the following guidelines would hold.

1. Don't use pictures that are out of focus.

2. Don't include pictures that are not about the celebrated person.

3. Play the whole song through before changing to a new song.

4. Choose one or two transition types for slide changes.

5. Show each slide for the same amount of time.

6. Choose one font type for the entire slide show.

I am sure there are a number of guidelines to follow but these are the ones that currently stand out in my mind.

Oddly enough my husband commented on this after departing from the most recent event. He noticed the music and blurrly pictures. I say oddly because Karl isn't particularly picky about visual things. I'm not surprised he noticed the music but the pictures...

The Price is Right

2010-02-06T13:59:00.003-07:00

When we were little we would arrive home from school just in time to catch the tail-end of The Price is Right. As a 10 year old mine I was always completely excited when the contestant had the opportunity to win a new car or trip and completely sad for the poor sap who got the new couch or appliance. I just couldn't imagine why you would be excited about something so boring.

In my first year of teaching I brought in an episode of The Price is Right to talk about probablity. One of the first prizes was a couch and a girl in my class immediately said with a sense of disgust "Oh, it's just a stupid couch. I don't know who would want to win a dumb couch."

Funny how positions can change. I was 10 years older than my student, living on my own, with roommates and paying my own bills. In our living room was a hand me down couch that had a piece of plywood under the cushions. It was really uncomfortable but better than sitting on the floor and I realized in that moment that winning a new couch wasn't so bad. In fact it was exciting. I would like to win a new couch. I would jump up and down on stage and try my hardest to win that beautiful new, comfortable couch. I would paint the walls to match if I needed to. I would like a new couch. At that time I would have liked a new couch more than say a new car, because I needed a couch and I knew it would be a while before I could afford one.

On my fridge is a list titled "Jen's expensive wish list" and until recently I had new van floor mats on it. When we bought our van it was gently used and came with floor mats made for a truck. They never fit properly. They have a big lip that sticks up 2 inches around all the ends. People are always triping on the lip. They are shaped differently than the space they are in and needed the extra ends shoved under seats and around the molding. The truth is that they look junky and made our van look junky. I truly hate them but there really wasn't anything wrong with them in terms of function. Yes, they caught the water and there was always a question of need vs want. Do we need new floor mats or is that a bad use of money? Do we need new shower curtains just because I don't like the colour of them? I can never convince myself to spend the money when the only real problem is that I don't like them. So I suffer in dislike everytime I look at these things I hate but don't replace.

My dad saw my list and surprised me with new floor mats for my birthday. He went to the dealership and ordered them special for me and I just finished installing them. And I love them. I love them so much. They fit. They lay flat. They aren't an ugly faded black colour but a beautiful tan colour. I'm so happy. I feel... I feel like I just won the car on The Price is Right. Thanks for the floor mats Dad!

Le's talk books

2010-01-16T09:28:00.007-07:00

I just finished reading "The Book of Negros" by Lawerance Hill. I liked it. I liked it a lot. In fact I just put it down and thought I might just read that again right now. It is one of the few non-Christian books I've read in a long time that didn't leave me feeling wrung out when I finished it. Most mainstream books that are "all the rave" have some horrible, terrible wicked thing or multiple things that happen in them. For example, I had heard a number of people recommend "Fall on your Knees" so I read it and when I was finished I needed to debrief but I would never ask anyone to read that book. There is a lot of incest among a large number of other things. When I read a book I don't want to feel sick to the stomach when I am finished. Which leads me to my next problem... Christian books. The phrase "lets be real" comes to mind. When I read Christian books I get frustrated with what I would call fluff. "So our heroine is walking down the street having just lost her job. She is devasted and has a quick prayer and when she is done praying she looks up and sees a help wanted sign. She goes into the establishment (which is owned by and incredibly hansome man) and is hired on the spot." That is chapter one.

I recently read a book by Lori Wick who I believe has missed the mark. I have read a number of her books; most often just after I've read something mainstream that has left me shell shocked. In this particular book, the climax is when the main character realizes she is in love with this man who has recently become a Christian. He is going to break up with her because she is not a Christian but at the last minute she realizes she needs Christ in her life and now they can get married. The truth is her audience is a bunch of women who have been raised in the Chruch and are leading Bible belt Christian lives who will call out Amen's when they read these books. I was raised in the Church but I'm still frustrated with this book. I can't call out Amen because I think if we were real, in a real world they would have got married. One Christian and one non-Christian because in a real world that's more likely to happen. That would be the beginning and the book would be about the struggles of the mixed beliefs and values. If you want to reach people other than the Bible belt women then lets talk about the sins, choices, struggles and the consequences that are real in peoples lives. Which brings me back to mainstream recognized books which I believe are too real to reach most people and don't have a message of hope that Christian books include.

I'd like my list of respected and recommended authors to increase. My recommended book list includes all of Francine Rivers (who isn't scared to write the book all the way through the pain of death, loss, affairs, sin, rape and the other hurts of the world with a message of hope) (Does anyone know the name she wrote under before she became a Christian?), Lynn Austin (who has a taste of fluff but weaves a beautiful story), "The Poisonwood Bible" (that will leave you feeling wrung out) and "The Book of Negros" by Lawance Hill, Sophie Kingsella (who writes fluff but it makes me laugh), "Is there anyone out there?" by Marian Keyes (watchout for the mystism), "Belong to me" by Maria De los Santo's. I'd love some recommendations and I'd like to know what you thought of some of these books.

Shirt Goes Missing

2009-10-24T17:58:00.003-06:00

Karl’s favorite Iron Maiden shirt recently went missing. It’s faded black with multiple brightly coloured skulls and numerous airvent holes. It was last seen in Karl’s hands where he is quoted saying “Thanks for washing my shirt. Now I can wear it all week and you can’t throw it out”.

The shirt in question has had a long history of controversy. “I think he wore it on our first date. It’s a good thing he’s such a great guy because the shirt really ugly,’ his wife has been quoted saying. It is commonly believed that Anna’s first sentence was “Scary shirt” as she pointed at the shirt.

Foul play is suspected. If you see this shirt, please contact the proper authorities so that the shirt can be properly disposed of.

2009-10-05T09:09:00.002-06:00

I dated this guy in college that taught me a lot about what I wanted in a spouse but more specifically what I didn't want in a spouse. It wasn't long into the relationship that I started to gain a picture of what my future would hold with this man and I didn't like it. I envisioned myself working two minimum wage jobs and barely making ends meet . I would come home in my peach coloured waitressing outfit to find my husband sitting on his butt doing nothing all day in our rented interior BC single wide. When asked if he was going to get a job he would always say things like there aren't any jobs out there or he just don't feel like it today or he's better than that job. You get the picture. It wasn't hard to come to this conclusion; in the time we dated he had slept through a job and got fired, he had borrowed money, lived off of his roommates, he had been to the food bank, and he had collected welfare. This was such a foreign thing to me. My parents are hard working and the idea is if you can work you do; at whatever job you can get if necessary.

I am so glad that I married the man I did. He is a hard working man who takes pride in supporting his family. And yet there are men who hate being the bread winner of the family. Hate it. They hate the responsibity and the pressure it carries to get up and go the 9-5 job day in and day out. In some families that's Ok because some women would rather pull their hair out then stay home. In those families the men stay home and the women are the bread winners. In some families both parents are the bread winners. But there always has to be a bread winner or there isn't going to be any bread. (I think that's common sense)

On Your Marks, Get Set

2009-09-29T09:19:00.005-06:00

In the not so distant past my husband came home to find that his dinner was not cooked and not even started. Since this is a very rare occasion he didn't really know what to do with himself so he stomped around the house and barked and was just plan grumpy until his tummy was full. I was thinking about this and a number of other similar things yesterday as I baked dozens of cookies and muffins for my family.

There has been talk of me working. For months now we have been living pay cheque to pay cheque and while the bills are getting paid and we have clothes, food and shelter there isn't much for surprises. So as I'm baking, I'm thinking my family really isn't ready for me to be around less. I think my family really has no idea what I do for them and going to work will be a super big shock. Maybe a good shock because there are days when I feel taken for granted. Don't get me wrong my husband works very hard and I am well aware of the things he does do. I'm aware of them because when he does them that's one less thing on my job list. But there are days when I don't appreciate; in fact hate the things on my own job list. Like when the dog shreds the chair cushions that weren't put away properly (by the overworked, overtired husband) it's me who gets to pick up each piece of stuffing that the wind has blown all over the yard.

My friend runs a day home. She was watching sibblings whose Mom was a teacher. They would be dropped off at 730am and picked up at 500pm. They would go home and get to watch one show while the Mom made dinner. They would eat dinner then pick out their clothes for the next day and off to bed by 700pm so they could get up in time to get dropped off.

When both parents are working full time it's a team effort. One of you is feeding the kids while the other one is showering. You both walk in the door at the end of the day tired, hungry and your kids are equally tired and hungry. You're both cooking supper which is something fast (because you're hungry) and cleaning up. The kids are to bed and if I'm teaching then I have planning and marking to do (about 2-3 hours worth.) Then there is the laundry. A load gets done when one of you realizes you're out of socks or underwear. It will get done one evening but not folded or put away until maybe the weekend, it may even sit in the dryer for a day or two. On the weekend one of you is mowing the grass while the other is scrubbing toilets. The kitchen floor may be put off for an extra week. After church you run out for groceries, eat supper, plan for the week and fall exhausted into bed. Oh and that stuffing that has been spread all over the yard... I'm not sure what will happen to that.

Is my family ready for this? I don't think I'm ready for that but the snow pants must be bought so I'm job hunting; reluctantly.

A Gift?

2009-09-27T14:07:00.003-06:00

We recently came into a piano. Karl's Grandma has decided to move and no longer has room for her piano. It's old. Really old. We already have a piano, which creates a very unique problem that most people don't have to face; two pianos.

The other piano we have is actually my parents, which we have been in possession of for 11 years. So when the piano talk started we talked. We talked with my parents and my siblings who lived in the area and it was decided that the best place for their piano was right where it is.

Now we have two piano; or almost two pianos. The new one hasn't arrived yet but it leaves to question; what do you do with two pianos? Apparently that shouldn't be a problem because after accepting this heirloom we were told to put the piano is a place where people won't play it.

An Old Entry

2009-08-28T20:43:00.002-06:00

I was told recently that I needed to update my blog. I told my nearest and dearest that I just had nothing to write about... that wasn't going to make people upset (ie. homeschool among other things, which seems to be the buzz these days)... it's that opinionated personality coming out again...(which by the way I'm not a fan of but really don't want to debate about either). My friend said why don't you blog about how wonderful I am. You can check out my latest entry called "A Penny Earned is A Penny Saved." It's three or four entries back because I started it a long time ago but never finished it until now.

Hold the Sugar

2009-07-21T13:42:00.005-06:00

A little over a month ago I got diagnosed with pre-diabetes. What does this mean? I means I don't have Diabetes but my body isn't digesting sugar as well as it should and if I'm not careful I will have diabetes. I know lots of you are thinking "well get off your fat butt" The media has really emphasised the growing cases of diabetes in our culture and connected it solely to the growing waist bands but there are a few more things that contribute to the disease.

Here are some of the risk factors for diabetes. If you have 3 or more you should be concerned.

1. Diabetes is genetic. You need the gene to get the disease. There are people out there that can sit on their butt and eat junk food all day long and never get diabetes. If you have a parent, sibling or even an aunt or uncle who has diabetes you may also carry the gene. In my case I have uncles on both sides of my family with the disease and with my pre-diagnosis my brothers and children can now check this one off as a risk factor.

2. Being overweight is a risk. This is one of my risk factors however my admiting this on line is by no means an invitation for you to comment on it, become my diet police or sign me up for the biggest loser (which by the way I don't weigh enough to get on anyways). Until you have walked in my shoes for a day or even a week you have no right to comment. You have no idea what I have done or not done to get my weight under control and I would appreciate it if you would hold judgement and especially your comments.

3. Having Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome is also another factor. I also have this. One of the side effects to this syndrome is difficulty to lose weight.

4. Gestational diabetes. I had two cases of untreated gestational diabetes. All of the symptoms were present but I didn't have the glaring blood work that would put me into treatment. Hence untreated. Women with gestational diabetes often get diabetes and often get it 10 years earlier than most people do. I believe this is why I am talking about diabetes at 34 instead of 44.

Those are my risk factors but here are some more (this list is not exhaustive):
5. Giving birth to babies over 9 lbs.
6. Being Aboriginal, Hispanic, Asian or African decent
7. Being inactive
8. Having high cholesteral and/or blood pressure

Here are some of the symptoms to watch for:
1. always feeling thirsty
2. always urinating
3. often feeling tired
4. have blurry vision
5. lose weight without trying
6. have cuts that take a long time to heal

So, what does this mean for me? If I want to continue to live my life drug free and not have to poke my finger 5 times a day than some things are changing. Here is a list of foods I am limiting (again I am monitoring my own diet so if you see me eating it keep in mind the word limiting however don't expect me to eat it if you put it out) white sugar, brown sugar, icing sugar, jam, jelly, marmalade, molasses, syrups, honey, regular soft drinks, fruit drinks, punches, juices, iced tea, syrup, candy, choclate, marshmallows, fried foods, fatty meats, sauces and gravies, regular fruit flavored yogurt, baked goods like pies, cakes, donuts and muffins.

My plate is half vegetables and contains at least two different kinds of vegetables for every lunch and supper. Potatoes and corn do not count as vegetables; they are a starch. I only eat one serving of fruit per meal. Every day I have a least one dark green and one orange vegetable. I am working towards being completely whole wheat and only have a max. of a cup and a half of starch per meal. I try to have a least 3 food groups at every meal and eat every 4-6 hours. I do not skip meals or put them off for large periods of time without a snack to keep my sugars up. (ie. Christmas dinner at 3 pm)

I am exercising a lot. Exercise lowers your blood sugar. The trick is to not let your sugars get too high and also not let them get too low. It's a balancing act. If you would like to invite me over, please do. If you are unsure or uncomfortable, I am don't mind bringing my own vegetables or drinks; as long as your not insulted by it.

So I am still learning. I still have some things to sort out, some weight to lose, more doctors to see, and a few more classes to go to. I might keep your posted or I might not. Some people like to keep their health privite. I tend to lean that way but I felt like some of this needed to be said.

It was an Adventure Part II

2009-07-06T20:51:00.002-06:00

I love tenting. I love tenting because I love waking up to fresh air all around me. I don't like RVing because they are too hot at night and I hate cooking in them and the floor is hard to keep clean in them. After packing all the stuff up I must admit the number one reason I might concede to RVing is that it is easier to pack all the stuff but I would still prefer the tent.

We arrive at the campground, say hi to everyone and then proceed to set up our tent. I love our tent. I'm very proud of our tent. It weighs 5.5 lbs, polls included. Not only is it light but it is very easy to set up. We bought it for backcountry and it is rated for three seasons. I love our tent. We have everything set up in minutes and start getting the kids ready for bed. Tesla is sleeping in the trailer with Grandma and Anna is sleeping in the tent with us. She is really excited to use a sleeping bag, until she realizes we mean for her to sleep. Rule number one. When someone is trying to put a crying overtired child to bed do not come over to the tent and wait for a quiet moment to ask if you need any help. Anna cried and cried. She was so overtired and in a different place and we tried everything. I would just get her quieted down and a truck who roar through the campground or a friendly would come over to help and she would start up all over again. We lost track of time but we figure it was 3 hours of crying. She finally went to sleep.

Saturday morning was overcast and cold. Grandma had her heart set on taking our kids to the beach. That was the whole reason we came this far. So no matter how cold or windy it was we were going. Admittedly the girls enjoyed the sand and had a good time. We had enough clothing for them (because I packed prepared) to be able to enjoy themselves. We had a snacky lunch on the beach and I got some great pictures of the girls playing. Definitely a highlight for me even if the wind was a bit much.

We had supper, showers and got the girls ready for bed. Anna, bless her heart went right to sleep. A late night, early morning, no nap and off to bed we go. Probably the best thing that ever happened. It started to rain at 9 pm. The wind was still blowing. The wind was strong enough to make the tent concave on one side. We decided to go to bed incase Anna woke up scared in the storm.

The storm was really bad. The tent was almost sideways. My nose almost touched the roof. One of the fly pegs let go and we decided to move the truck infront of the tent to block the wind. The people in the other tent decided to sleep in a trailer since their tent had already blown down the road. We got pressured to move to a trailer too but declined. Anna was sleeping through all of this. Our tent was dry. The truck was doing a good job at blocking the wind. If we were wet it might have been another story but we weren't going to risk moving Anna and having a repeat of the night before. What do they say: Never wake a sleeping baby. Besides our sleeping bags would get all wet in the move. Did I mention I love our tent?

Karl said the next morning he didn't want to move because he didn't want to sleep in a trailer with 6 people. He has been telling me for months now that he doesn't like people. I think he really means he doesn't like crowds.

We did need to dry out the fly but other than that we were dry. I can't say the same for our farmer's field campground. It was mud. The grass hadn't really come in between the gravel stalls. Did I mention this campground didn't have picnic tables?

So we dried off our tent fly, packed up our stuff, had some breakfast, had the truck boosted and we were off. Karl had decided to listen to the radio with the truck doors open while we packed up. Once we went camping and the people beside us played Polka music from sun up to sun down. We weren't that bad. It was CBC and we turned it on just before 8 and the truck battery died before we left at 930. Definitely not that bad. And we were off on an other adventure... to the Calgary Stampede for a quick Doodlebop concert. They were only playing one day otherwise this adventure would have taken us home.

It was an Adventure

2009-07-06T15:56:00.006-06:00

Last summer my MIL called us to tell us about this wonderful campground she found just outside Hanna, AB. She had been driving by and stopped to take a look. It sounded great. Large stalls and a great beach with a playground. She brought up the campground again in November with the hopes we would be able to join her there on July 1st. It came up a number of times throughout the year. Finally, when the campground registration opened up we were willing to commit.

However, my MIL was having a terrible time getting through to the campground to make the reservation. A distant relative who lived in the area recommended a different campground which was just down the road, that was a lot better. The reservations were made without any troubles and Aunts and Uncles were invited to join us. It was going to be a great weekend of camping, and family and even a friend or two.

For two days I packed. I packed the usual camping stuff but for 4 people it takes time to get all the sleeping bags, mattresses, camp stoves, food etc together. Not to mention the clothes. I pack for all weather. If you have ever been camping and it snows or your kids get so cold that they just cry, then you know... pack for everything. I remembered the mitts this time, so we wouldn't have to use socks on the kids cold hands every morning.

We left after Karl got home from work. He figured that it would be a 3.5 hour drive and of course we are going through dinosaur country which is a hugh part of our 4 year olds daily discussion right now. I realize that visiting the Tyrell museum was a bit unrealistic but boy do I like to please my kids when it's as easy as making time to look at dinosaur bones. Alas it was not to be. She asked if we could go today. And she will probably continue to ask at least twice a week for ... forever.

Back to the road trip. We just drive through Drumheller when Tesla says "I have to go to the bathroom." Her timing is always 5 minutes out the other side of town. And we both say in stereo "Why didn't you say you had to go when we asked?" We are just gearing up into "Well you're just going to have to go on the side of the road," when I spot the sign for a rest stop. What a lovely surprise. Right beside the parking lot is the HooDoo's and you can climb on them and around them. And I say to Karl. "Let's take a minute and go look" And he says "We still have an hour's drive and it's already 8pm. I'd really like to get the tent up before dark." Here is the picture I took from the parking lot.

My Mom has been to the Grand Canyon twice. Once with her parents and once as a parent, yet both experiences are the same. We pulled into the Grand Canyon at 10 pm, just as the sun was setting. We were doing this crazy 17 day road trip that included Disneyland and Texas and a family reunion in Oklahoma. Why not include the Grand Canyon? We all got out of the car and took a look. Commented on how beautiful it was then decided we would come back in the morning for a better look and pictures. We still needed to find a hotel for the night. 2 hours later and hundred kilometers away we found that hotel. We never did turn around to get the better look or the pictures; it was too far to back track.

Pulling out of the HooDoo's felt a lot like the Grand Canyon. I can't help but wonder why we are in such a hurry sometimes. Isn't one of the reasons for taking a road trip to stop and see the scenery? But when you are trying to get to a certain place or meet up with certain people the scenery often gets compromised. Right there and then I decided that when we go on holiday's this summer we are stopping a little more often and taking a little more time to enjoy what we can.

When we come up out of the valley this is what we see. Flat land. Flatter than Saskatchewan. Drier than dry. And I say to Karl "Wow this is flat. I think it's flatter than Saskatchewan. Do you like this landscape. Do you think we are camping in a farmer's field?" To which Karl says "I don't mind it. This is what I grew up on." NO. No, this is not was he grew up on. There are trees and rolling hills where he grew up. I don't see any trees or rolling hills. In fact, I don't see anything.

I have many pictures to go with this one, because I already know that I'm going to be blogging, because I already know that we are probably camping in a farmer's field and that there might, fingers crossed, be some planted trees in the campground and that this is an adventure. All week long I have been working really hard to keep my attitude in check and while this may read critical it's really not. In my mind at this moment in time I am thinking realistic thoughts with a postive "it's an adventure" spin on it.

But I am also thinking that I grew up camping in the forest and when I think of camping I always picture trees. A lot of trees. We drove to the Yukon almost every summer as kids. The road to the Yukon provides a great view of trees. I've heard some people find forests crowded almost sufficating and at this moment in my thoughts I come to the conclusion that this may infact be the case with my husbands family; I don't remember ever camping in the forest with them; well except Karl who likes to drive forever to the OLD MAN which I can wait to comment on another day.

We turn the corner and there is the sign. Did I mention this recommended campground is on a Golf Course? I still don't see anything. I mean I don't see ANYTHING. Did we really drive for 3.5 hours for a flat farmer's field?

And there it is. We come over a little hill and see the campground and I laugh. I laugh because I knew it. An RV park in a farmer's field.

A Penny Saved Is a Penny Earned

2009-06-08T12:53:00.003-06:00

I was reading this article the other day about how to pinch the pennies. Here's what they suggest:

Rent a DVD instead of going to the movies once a month.

Do your own housecleaning and let the housekeep go.

Make your own bottle of wine instead of buy them.

Order in a pizza instead of eating out twice a month.

Start using your local library.

Have a home birthday party for the kids.

Switch to basic cable.

Make your coffee at home and take it in a Thermos.

Get your daughter a Girl Guide membership instead of the horse riding lessons.

Limit the use of bank machines.

This is the second or third magazine that I've come across with articles like this one and I have to say I think the suggestions are weak because it's all common sense. It's like reading a Sophie Kinsella book but instead of it being written as a comedy it's being written for reality. We have two friends who were laid off recently. I'm pretty sure they could come up with this stuff on their own. Anyone who has gone from two incomes to one has already thought most of this stuff up. Oprah has done a number of shows about money too. There was a women on her show recently who unplugged everything when she was done using it. (Like I'm going crawl on my hands and knees behind my dresser every morning to unplug my alarm clock and set the time again every night) There is a theme out there. We are in a recession but surely there must be more to be done.

Part of today's money problem is the access to credit and the required use of it. You can not park in downtown Calgary without a credit card. You can not buy anything online. You can not book a hotel or flight. Buy a cell phone. Get a land line. Order the newspaper or any service at that. You can't even go to my dentist without your credit card. You can't get a lot of things unless you have a credit card. Our society is set up to use your credit card.

Then there is the access to having one. Everywhere you turn you are offered a credit card and each one has different rewards connected to it. The university is covered in credit card companies the first week of school offering the newest and greatest plans. Every department store. Every football game. Every bank. There was a woman on Oprah the other day with 29 credit cards. Seriously?

Then there is the cutting back; which this article was referring to. We definitely live in a must have/I want/right now society. You can always ask yourselves do I need this or do I just want this. Put it on hold and think about it for a few days but to truly cut back depression style will require a bit more.

It got me thinking how did they do it in the depression. Well for starters if you didn't have the money you didn't get to buy; you could pull out your credit card to cover the excess. But really how did they do it?

They saved, reused and recycled everything. I read an article on the internet about flour sacks. In the 20's your flour came in a cloth sack. Once the sack was empty the cloth was used to make girls dresses. Apparently the flour companies began providing a wide range of prints to make their sacks so that the girls all had different prints on their dresses. I thought this was really cool, however it's not possible to do today (just try to make a dress out of a flour sack now... it is paper). The there is making the dress. If you go to the fabric store (which is pretty close to a monopoly in Canada) you will pay far more for the pattern (because making your own pattern is a lost art which got lost before my generation) and the material then you would to just buy the ready made outfit at the store.

My Dad (who did not grow up in the depression but who did live on a tight budget as a child) said when they were growing up they drank powdered milk, they made their own bread,they grew a garden, they didn't eat vegetables or fruit in the winter, they shopped for groceries on Sat. night when everything was discounted (because the store was closed on Sunday and things would go bad if they waited until Mon) and you would never buy paper towel or a magazine to tell you how to save money.

If I was going to write my own article... off the top of my head without thinking really hard but maybe harder than Rebecca Bloomwood...

1. Grow a garden. Freeze, can, preserve what you grow.
2. Hang a clothes line or get a small hanger thing to dry your clothes with air.
3. Change your own oil.
4. Trade and borrow things with friends. Like toys.
5. Buy second hand.
6. Start making things... like baking muffins, breads etc.

Surely these magazine writers can think a little harder because the truth of the matter is most people are looking for something a little more ground breaking then fire the house keeper.

It's Complicated

2009-06-04T22:58:00.004-06:00

We were told it would happen.
We knew it would happen.
Now it has happened.

I'm feeling punched in the stomach.

I think we just were hopeful. On Tesla's last day of preschool we handed out cards to 3 of her favorite friends. They read "Tesla is moving and would like to stay in touch with you. Her new address is..." In my heart of hearts I knew this wouldn't pan out and it didn't. We haven't heard from any of these people since.

At Christmas time we sent out christmas letters with our new contact information.

Tonight we sat in our living room with the windows open listening to the birds sing. It is so peaceful. No dogs barking and cars moving. No neighbors. No airplanes. Peaceful. I like it. I like living here.

I don't like starting over. Which is sadly what I think we are doing.

We went to soccer tonight where there are a couple of familar faces. I went to Mom's and Tot's last week... also familar faces. But the truth is these mom's aren't my girls. They aren't the ones I talk to about nothing and everything. They aren't the ones I call nearest and dearest; who know all the things I would write on my secret blog (which has never been started but contemplated more times than I can count.) They aren't the ones who have helped me scrub my kitchen floor or told me off when I needed it. They aren't the ones who... well the list is too long. They just aren't my girls.

We cancelled our annual Christmas party this year. In the past we have invited our friends over for a potluck and gifting. We have always enjoyed it but this year it was too complicated so we decided we would have a housewarming party once we moved. The problem is no one can come. It's complicated. After getting decline after decline we decided to cancel the whole thing. We were disappointed.

The punch came tonight when our old small group changed venues. It probably felt like a punch because it happened so soon after the housewarming incident. We decided to see this group through until the end of the year. It contains many of our good friends. So every third week Karl stays in Calgary wasting a couple of hours until it starts, while I drive in with the girls. We have two vehicles in Calgary. We have PJ's. We have our component for the potluck supper. We have a great time and then we drive home; arriving close to 10 pm with two cranky girls. Don't get me wrong. We have made choices.

We were excited and delighted when this group suggested that we host the wrap up BBQ. Tonight the leader called to change venues because one of the families in our group won't come to our house. It's too far. It will be too late. PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH. All very good reasons, which I totally understand. Really I do. What could we say? No it has to be here. You have to make the same choices we make. We couldn't say that.

Here's what Karl had to say, "I'm not surprised. I kind of expected it. It would have been nice if someone else made the effort for once. I'm not sure I want to hang around the city for a couple of hours on a Friday night."

The familar faces said it would happen. Most of them have moved here in the last 3-5 years. They said people will come in the beginning. They said people will stop coming.

People have stopped coming. It's definitely slowing down. Is it true then? Are we really going to do this? Am I really going to have to start looking for replacements for my girls? Dare I ask... are they replaceable? NOT ON YOUR LIFE but...

We do have to do something. Tesla is feeling it. We are feeling it. We invite people but they can't come. We've offered to meet people half way, at their house, at a common place... some are still checking their calendars. But the fact of the matter is we can't always be driving to Calgary and our friends can't always be driving to our house. If we have 15 friends and go to each of their houses once that is 15 trips we make to the city. If they all come to our house once that is one trip for each of them to make but we can't always expect people to come here. It's a problem!

Those Lazy Summer Days

2009-05-28T09:04:00.004-06:00

I took my first swimming lesson when I was 9 years old. This marked the beginning of some very enjoyable summer memories. Every weekday morning my brothers and I would join our friends (another family with 3 kids) on the grass beside the pool. We would sit there in the sun playing with our mothers talking in the background. Every half hour someone new would come out of the pool and someone else would leave for their lesson. I don't think any of us were in the same lesson so we spend hours at the pool waiting our turn. It was fun. It was perfect. You were either excited about cooling off in the pool after waiting in the hot morning sun or warming up under the sun as you dried off. Once that round of lessons were done we would sign up for the next one. It cost $10 for two weeks of lessons.

We spent two summers following this routine. It was the third summer that it all fell apart. I was 11. This was the summer that our friends decided not to take swimming lessons. This was the summer that my instructor was 14. This was the summer when I started being self-conscience in a bathing suit. And this was the summer I decided to hide my bathing suit so I wouldn't have to go. I was actually a pretty good swimmer but I had started too late. I couldn't get past my perceived embarrassment of being 11 in a class with a bunch of 8 and 9 year olds and a 14 year old instructor. Finally, without our friends it was just boring waiting. That was the last round of swimming lessons for me and my brothers.

Now my girls are taking swimming lessons. They are considerable younger and that is OK. They won't be 9 wearing water wings. They might even have a chance to become lifeguards one day; which is a great summer job if you're a teenager.

Everything is changed. Most pools are indoor now. They have warmer water and you're not exposed to the elements. Lessons are year round so we all sign our kids up at different times of the year. I don't have friends to visit with during lessons. I almost had Tesla signed up with a friend but they had to cancel at the last minute. Even if we were all signed up for the same set of week of lessons, I don't think people are willing to sit around all morning on the hard chairs or bleachers that are provided at the indoor pools. And if were at an outdoor pool I don't think people would sit and sunbathe all morning at the grassy edge; there are too many skin cancer concerns. Of all my friends only one still embraces those lazy summer days. Her kids only do swimming in the summer; every morning; all summer; at the outdoor pool across the street. I kind of envy her. While the rest of us are stuck on a hard chair at the edge of some pool, surrounded by complete strangers, she is sitting on the grass with her kids playing beside her. She is enjoying the sun and the company of a neighbour. It's great for her. It's great for her kids and it's great for her community.

Please, want to!

2009-05-26T14:32:00.005-06:00

We were driving through Olds the other day and Anna suddenly said "McDonald's. Chicken. Please, want to." While I am slightly embarrassed that my two year old is so familar with McDonald's my heart is rejoicing at hearing her put so many words together with such clear intentions.

When Anna was a year old I took her for her annual check up at the doctors. These visits always start with some measuring of weight, height and head circumference. Then the doctor comes in and listens to her heart and lungs. She looks in her ears and mouth; checks her hips and organs. Finally, the doctor asks a series of developmental questions. It was on this first year visit that the alarms started.

"Does she respond to her name? Does she come when you call her from another room? Can she follow a simple direction?" No, No and NO! No Anna didn't do any of these things. She didn't cry at sudden loud noises. She never responded to her name and especially didn't come when you called her from a different room. Once in a while she would dance to loud music but really. Sleeping through loud noises? This is the first time that concern was raised about one of our girls. We left with a referral to have her hearing tested.

As I drove home I start picturing my sweet little girl with outragously big hearing aids. I could see her in school trying to follow along. The teacher has a headset and microphone attached that feed directly into her hearing aids. The really large ones that the kids make fun of. And in my mind my sweet little girls is sad and lonely and confused about being different. And my heart is breaking just thinking about it; wanting to protect her. At the same time I am rallying the troops in my head to be as supportive as we can.

The waiting is super hard. Poor Anna. We called her name and called her name and called her name... trying to get her to respond. I searched the internet looking for reasons kids don't respond to their name. The internet can be so bad at times... Autism. Autism. I thought I was going to be sick. And there were check lists for that to. Which I went through and got mixed messages. I watched videos of autistic kids at 1 years old and listened to the commentary about what to look for. And finally we got the appointment.

She passed with flying colours! She could hear! They were sure. Absolutely sure. But...

She didn't respond to her name for the audiologist, who got a little bit pale after the third attempt. Then said "Well, if she doesn't start responding to her name by 18 months you should get her checked for cognitive delays." Which means autism.

So a year later when Anna says "please want to" (even for McDonalds) or tells us knock knock jokes (that truly aren't funny) or draws happy faces (that are sideways) and pulls off her diapers (when they are full), I am mostly just pleased that she is getting all of this and getting it so well.

Happy Mother's Day Mom

2009-05-09T17:21:00.003-06:00

My Mom wrote this a long time ago and it's been sitting in my in box ever since. I thought it was neat so I'm sharing it with you.

My full name is Donelda Louise ... (nee Midgett) at this time, as I am married to ............
I have always like my name!
As far as I know I am not named after any relatives or friends.
I understand Donelda is of Scottish descent. That makes sense as my mom Effie Lavina Midgett (nee ...) has Scottish ancestors.
I am glad my parents spelled Donelda with an "e" in the middle. I've always felt relieved: it wasn't Donald (like the boys name) with an "a" added on. Don "e" lda sounds softer and more feminine in my mind.
I have known acquaintances and had friends with the first name Louise. I've like all of them so it just makes my middle name more favorable. I feel Donelda Louise runs together smoothly too and that pleases me.
My maiden name Midgett sometimes caused a few laughs and a bit of teasing. Men and women in my immediate family are large boned-- as termed by other people. My grandmother, Midgett, was six feet or taller. All the men are also six feet tall or more. Most of the men have large tummies too.
My mother though barely made five feet so marrying Clyde Midgett made her height a tad comical.
I guess another reason I so like my name is it is unusual. I was the only Donelda (spelled anyway) in the whole of the Yukon Territory, Canada as I grew up. I have never had anyone criticize it.
Only twice in my life have I got angry with someone about their mistreatment of it (Donelda).
A) a family friend thought he should shorten it to Don. I replied that's like a guy --- No Way. Well, then make it Dawn like the morning he said. I said No Way -- that's totally changing it. He then in his sense of being funny said Make it Donkey. I was instantly mad and said That's what you are and walked away. He apologized profusely and tried everything to make up for his terrible mistake (for days he almost begged). Our friendship was never as close after that. He remained a family friend for years.
B) Another male family friend entered our home and called me Donel -- ie one day. I told him he knew my name and should use it properly. The next time he called me Donel--ie I got mad and said I won't respond to you unless you call me properly. He couldn't believe I would be so stubborn. If I remember right I won that battle quickly; he didn't like not being acknowledged. I have fond memories of other experiences our families shared together and he was always there -- still respected.
Once during my teen years I dated a fellow that shortened my name to Del. It think that lasted three days. I couldn't figure out where he got Del from. I don't remember any negative reaction to him using it but have a sense I was glad he went back to Donelda.
I love how my Aunt Mary says my name, Donelda. I don't know if its the placed emphasis on the syllables, the softness of her voice (which is very similar to my Grandma--her mom) or her Texas drawl. I wish we didn't live so far apart or phoned more often. If we did I'd hear her say it to my delight.
I was twenty four years old, married with children here in .....before I ever heard my name,........ called out for someone else. I was just entering a drug-store with one or two of my children. Someone inside yelled Don a lda --get out of There...in fear. I knew they didn't know me and I knew I wasn't in danger. I asked the cashier for an explanation. Don a lda was an employee bent down on one side of the shelving unit. Another employee on the other side of the shelving unit was up on a step stool stocking the top shelf. Something she did caused stuff to fall off and probably land on Don a lda. The yelling was to warn her not me. I knew this Don a lda as an employee of the store for years.
I have never know any other Don a lda's but have been told of a few.
I know of no one else who spells it with and e. Donelda
I have always liked my full name! Donelda Louise ... (nee Midgett).

Movin' to the country gonna eat a lot of peaches...

2009-04-15T08:13:00.003-06:00

Well we made the big move and we have been here about a month and a half. The activity of moving has died down. The snow is melting, all the important things have been put away. Many of our nearest and dearest friends have come out for a visit and now we are settling into our new normal.

We have seen wildlife. Last night we had three dear eating grass in our front yard. They were there for a least an hour. There is a moose in the area. We've seen him a couple times.

Our girls have discovered the rocks. Every day they go outside and fill their pails up with rocks. They move them around, dig them, water them, dump them and then start all over again. The need for mud pants is very apparent.

When have started making lists. When we go to Calgary we have a list of about 10 people we want to see and about 20 things we need to get. We are lucky if we see any of our friends and get about 10 of the things we are looking for. At the end of the day 3 tired girls head home and Mom's head is filled with the things we didn't get, wondering where she will get them and an hour to stew about it plus feeling guilty that she snuck into town and didn't see any of her friends. It takes the whole day and often feels like we have accomplished nothing.

My very tired husband went to bed at 9 pm last night. I was amazed he lasted that long. He is on generators this week which means he starts work at 530 am. With the hours drive in he was out of bed at 4 am. He is already getting pretty frustrated about not getting to do the things he wants to around the farm. By the end of the work week he is left with about a day and a half to fix the generator, build a deck, put this tools away and fix the road. When the snow is melted we are putting the garden in and there is always fencing. I'm truthfully not sure how long this will last. Ironically I am here all week and have the time to do these things but I don't know how or even want to fix a genrator. Plus he told me last week "You're really bad with a tape measure."

I got invited to a girls night out. It got cancelled at the last minute so I didn't get to go. It felt like starting high school all over again. What if they don't like me? Will I never have friends again? I was kind of relieved to have another week to mentally prepare. It's different then starting a new job. Even if your collegues don't like you they won't stop inviting you to work. My kids will go to school with these women's children for the next 13 years. I can't screw this up.

It struck me this morning that it would be very easy for a person to get depressed when they move. I'm not depressed but I can understand how it could happen. You don't have any good friends in the new community. No one to call up at the last minute to say you want to drop by or meet somewhere. In our case, our old friends are just a short hour drive away. But somehow that short hour drive away is a very long hour. It really takes the whole day to go to Calgary. When you move to a new community there are a lot of new people to meet but no close friends. It could get pretty lonely. Lucky for us we have family across the road, a phone and the internet.

Odds and Ends

2009-03-18T10:47:00.006-06:00

There is one clear thing I can remember about my Grandma; she loved rubber bands. There was always a stack of stuff on the kitchen table and if you sat and surveyed what was there you would see at least 3 rubber bands. Everything that could be wrapped in a rubber band was. There was a band around her wallet, a stack of paper, containers etc. I really didn't think much of it until the day my Mom commented on it. "Rubber bands are gross. They dry up and they smell and when they get old they break..." Another time I heard her and her brother talking about them. After hearing them talk, I would bet that my Mom and all her siblings avoid the use of rubber bands. OVERUSE comes to mind.

A few years ago my Mom started using tape. A lot of tape. She would tape notes to everything; the computer screen, kitchen counter, van consol. My sibblings and I were relentless in our commentary on the taped notes. Some of us were worse then others but they will remain nameless.

It wasn't until my husband started making comments on paper clips that I started to see a pattern. I can not stay away from paper clips. If I see one on the table or counter I will pick it up and play with it. When I was teaching I always had at least one in my pocket. I don't recall ever buying a package of them however I do possess a large number of them. Multiple sizes. Multiple containers full of them. When I was teaching I would use them to hold class sets of assignments together. (Teaching is more about paper than you can ever imagine.) It's all very innocent but to hear my husband talk about it and you wouldn't think so. I've stopped commenting on the tape.

My Grandma had rubber bands, my Mom has tape and I have paper clips. A proud family quirk. And then it happened. My husband has joined the ranks. He has a thing for ice cream pails. When we were cleaning the garage and house I started finding his stash. One under the bed, 2 under the work bench, 7 more floating around the garage, 3 in the storage room. And I quote "You never know when or where you might need a pail." Really!?!

So I must correct myself.... My Grandma has rubber bands, my Mom has tape, I have paper clips and Karl has ice cream pails.

How old is too old?

2009-02-09T16:56:00.003-07:00

The other day I watched my husband take tylenol that was passed it's expiry date. When I asked him about it he just shrugged it off. I told someone else about this they said they ignore the expiry dates on Tylenol as well. Apparently there is more than one person out there who doesn't care about expiry dates. This leads me to the question, how old is too old? Would you take tylenol that was a month old? 6 months old? a year? 10 years? If you aren't following the expiry day then where do you draw the line? And does this disregard of the expiry dates apply to all products? There are expiry dates on dairy, cereals, breads, meats, juice, medication, contact solutions, contacts, car seats, poison, and condoms. So I must ask again, how old is too old and do expiry dates apply to any of these products?

Pink, twirly and puffed sleeves.

2009-01-16T13:33:00.003-07:00

I must admit I was a little shocked at how young our first born was when she developed an opinion. She was 6 weeks old and had decided she only liked to feed from one side. I tried everything to trick to eat from both sides and there were a few times I was grateful we had a pump. By 3 months we had convinced her that she should re-think her position.

Now she is four and for the last year and a half she has been sharing her opinions. She has many opinions. I really shouldn't be surprised. I have many opinions and her Dad is one of the most stubborn people I know. Most people don't believe me when I tell them that Karl is more stubborn than me but the fact is that I am more likely to change my position before him. We both have our "things" that we just won't let go of. Some might call them grudges. Ask Karl about the time he got potato chips when he was expecting french fries or about the hair stylist who put mousse in his hair. The point is that our daughter is a product of both of us. She is passionately opinionated and super stubborn. Both qualities have their place (like standing up for yourself when faced with peer pressure) however... well let me give you an example.

TESLA'S GUIDE TO GETTING DRESSED

Dresses must be worn every day. Preferrably sun dresses.
It must be pink.
And have puffy sleaves or no sleaves.
And be twirly.
Shirts are not worn with dresses; so no jumpers. This rule also includes sun dresses.
Pants are not worn with dresses
Only tights with feet can be worn otherwise they are considered pants.
Dresses must meet all criteria

This would be fine if she had 7 pink, twirly, puffy sleaved dresses and our weather didn't go down to -30. Every morning we have the same discussion and the result is that her sun dresses are hidden. Gone! Some dresses have been dirty for a while. She has missed preschool because she took too long getting dressed. She has been cold. She has been angry. She has worn pants! Did I mention she has been angry?

My friends laugh. My parents tell us to take away the choices. Karl's mom keeps giving her dresses. And we keep working with her.

I love my daugher. She is bright and fun. She is creative and talkative. She wants to be a princess and look like a princess and I can't fault her for wanting to be special and feel pretty. At somepoint she will have to learn practicality and reasoning and flexibilty but I'm pretty sure we are still a long ways away from that... at least about dresses.

Are you Kidding Me?

2008-12-25T21:24:00.002-07:00

This Christmas my husbands extended family rented a time share in Fairmont. We arrived 2 days after his immediate family. A van full of 1 playpen, 2 suitcases, 2 snowboards and 1 pair of skis, many toys, 12 books, 2 favorite teddy bears, 2 pots, 10 pounds of potatotes, 3 blankets, 1 bag of tolietries, 1 cooler, 1 box of dry food, 4 pairs of snow pants and so much more. Upon arrival we decide to bring our girls in and survey the situation.

To enter the timeshare you walk through a door into a small hallway that is shaped like a Y. It contains a closet on the right with a washer and dryer. If you go to the left you enter the larger of two suites. It has a large kitchen, eating area and living room. It has one bedroom which is the master bedroom and it has a king sized bed and ensuite. There is also a second bathroom off the kitchen. My MIL and Grand-MIL are sleeping in this suite.

If you go to the suite on the right, you will find the smaller suite. We were told this would be ours. It has a kitchette, small living room, one bedroom and one bathroom. My BIL (B stands for Brother) has claimed the king sized bed in the only bedroom in this suite. Our family is meant to sleep on the double hid-a-bed in the living room. We decide to make the best of it and pull the bed out. It needs to be made but we expected that. The mattress is in terrible condition. If you sit at the head of the bed the bed flips up and your feet are in the air and your bum has fallen into no mans land.

Are you kidding me? My single brother in law is sleeping in a kingsize bed while my husband and I sleep on a double hide a bed in a common area with our girls and all our stuff. His response... "Why should I always sleep on the hid a bed?" Why? I'll tell you why.

Because he is single and can sleep on the cushy leather couch as a single and we can not. We must sleep on the hid a bed.
Because there is one of him and two of us. We need more room. We should have the bigger bed.
Because our girls are sleeping in a main room and he is out partying. He must walk through our sleeping space to get to his.
Because we are married and need more privacy (wink, nudge, nudge).
Because I have a miserable cold and am having trouble sleeping as it is.

And so goes the first night. I am going to go crawl into my hid-a-bed with my husband and hug my box of kleenex.

My Husband

2008-12-01T07:48:00.005-07:00

I love being married. I love being married to my husband. My husband is one of the hardest working men I know and I must admit I feel taken care of by him. Being married to him does have it's perks. I can honestly say I have never changed a flat tire and while I may understand the theory behind it I doubt I will ever do it with my husband around.

Shortly after we were married his family decided to sell off the farm equipment and have an auction. We spent many weekends at the farm preparing for the big sale and it was during this time that I witnessed my husband in his true element. My heart swelled with pride as I watched him back the tractor up to endless pieces of equipment without the slightest hesitation. While most people would have to backup, pull forward, turn this way or that countless times in order to line up the hitch to the equipment my husband did not. He got in the tractor and backed up perfectly aligned time after time. He was quick and efficient and had obviously done this a number of times.

I have also seen him come from rotatilling the garden covered from head to toe with back dirt and all I could see was the whites of his eyes and his teeth revealed from his big goofy grin. The man loves his tractors and is never quite as happy as when he is on them.

People have asked me a number of times why were are moving to the farm. Why would we leave Calgary when we have good jobs, friends, a great home church? Why would we leave a finacially comfortable position to a life time of debt? Why would we move so that we can commute for 2 hours a day to jobs in Calgary and what is a born and raised city girl going to do on a farm?

Few people get the opportunity to witness their spouse doing what they love and in their element. When my husband gets on a tractor it is a sight to witness. When he chases cows, he is posed and confident. So when we move to the farm I am going to watch my husband live out his dream. He is going to drive tractors and chase cows, he is going to be covered from head to toe in dirt and he is going to mow grass (probably at 7 in the morning). And he is going to smile! Don't get me wrong my husband is happy but moving to the farm is a dream. It's a lifestyle and it's one that was almost lost. What we lose is distance we are gaining in life.

A lesson to be learned

2008-11-26T13:36:00.008-07:00

Christmas is quickly approaching and everyone is hunting for those perfect gifts for their loved ones. Gifting is a really art. Some people are so good at it and some are not. One year my Grandma gave my cousin an opened pair of nylons and her sister a shower cap. We have all got those "gifts". Maybe not those exact ones but we have all received the unwanted. In fact we've probably all given an unwanted too.

Each year we invite our friends over and have a white elephant gift exchange. The rule is you have to bring a gift to the party but it has to be something you already own but don't want. The first year we through the party I really didn't want to make everyone buy another $20 gift; stuff bought with no one special in mind; just more stuff. You would not believe the things people have brought over the years. There are always candles, some Christmas ornaments, Cd's or DVDs, souvenirs gifts... and there are some fun things...the old Walkman, a 10 gallon cowboy hat, and a really ugly soup bowl. We are a society of stuff. The thing is that the gifts that show up at our party are usually things that are being regifted.

Somewhere along the line we have become entitled. We all expect to get a gift from each of our family members and we expect it to be good. But what happens when we are disappointed? I've pouted but my guess is so has everyone else. We pout, cry, say rude things, tell our friends, stomp down the street, etc. We have all done it. My girlfriend tells me that she has a family member who has been heard saying "Well, we will have to return this, won't we!" immediately after opening a gift. We are entitled.

Last year we had an exchange student from Germany. Her family had made a big sacrifice to send her to Canada for 6 months and had decided not to send her any Christmas presents. They felt that the cost of sending the parcels and the time it would take to get them here was not feasible. Knowing this was the situation a lot of our friends and family decided to include her in their lists. On Christmas day our exchange student was fully expecting to sit and watch us indulge ourselves in our gift opening. She was completely taken aback when she realized there were gifts for her too. She was Grateful. Grateful someone had thought of her! The pleasure and joy radiated from her. Her smile was so big. She genuinely smiled even though she knew that some of her presents would stay in Canada because she couldn't take them on the plane. It wasn't what she got that made her happy it was that someone had thought of her.

As Christmas approaches this year and I try desperately to think of things my loved ones will enjoy and appreciate; I think of our exchange student. I want to get my loved ones good gifts. Things that show them I thought of them and I appreciate them. I am sure my loved ones are trying to do the same. So this year I am going to try to be like our exchange student. I am going to be grateful that someone thought of me. This year if I get something I don't want, it really isn't going to matter because it's just nice to be remembered. Thanks Lena for a lesson well taught!

In Memory of Steve

2008-11-17T13:26:00.007-07:00

A friend recently asked me why I haven't blogged about Steve. I don't know how to write about it. It was hard to write about a family I only know through someone else. It was hard to write about some youth I have worked with over the years but I don't know how to write about the death of a friend.

Steve has been my friend since High School, through Bible College and into adulthood. He became a missionary in Africa, who's greatest desire was to teach people how to read so they could read the word of God. The truth is Steve and I were not as close in recent years partly because we were on different continents and partly because we were at different stages in our lives. The last time I communicated with Steve was just before he was killed. We were chatting on facebook about a youth group we had both worked with, people we had lost touch with and facebook. One thing that struck me then was that Steve didn't give up on people no matter how broken they were or how they hurt or disappointed him. He was looking for an old friend on facebook that everyone else had given up on. He was a people lover and a God lover. He was making a difference in a number of people's lives.

There are so many levels of grief that come with Steve's passing. Most of my high school and college memories include Steve. A group of us met after his memorial to reminisce the old days. I realized as I drove into the parking lot I was looking for the cars we all drove in High School. It was like I had taken a step back in time. I grieve with memories of a time that has long since past and a boy I knew very well from that time.

Then there is the grief of who Steve was as an adult. This Steve I didn't know as well but I am still saddened by his loss. A man who loved God, people and Africa. His memorial was so sad and uplifting at the same time as people from around the world shared how he had impacted their lives. How he had taught people to read, played with the children, smiled on them, offered a helping hand... and I am so sad for their loss.

Mostly I am sad for his wife and family whom I have known for a very long time in very different capacities.

Finally I am just sad that someone I know died. Someone so young with so much more to give.

I am going to finish with two things. The first is a memory from my high school grad and the second is the email that Steve's brother sent out with the news of his death.

Steve came to my Grade 12 grad. It was pouring rain that night and Steve went to get the car. A group of us sat waiting for him to return. After a great amount of time Steve returned on foot. He said he had a flat tire and needed the guys to come help him change it. Later we heard the guys had stripped down to their boxers to change the tire as they were scared to get oil on their good clothes. What most people don't know is how Steve got the flat tire in the first place. Steve had this old Bowmount car that he was so proud of. The car was a bit quirky and one of its quirks was that when you put the car in reverse the speedometer still registered a speed. In a newer car the speedometer sits at zero when you are in reverse. So Steve decided to see how fast his car could go in reverse... through the parkade. He was racing around backwards and hit a curb; ultimately causing the flat tire. It was pretty funny.

Here is the letter announcing Steve's death.

Hi Everyone, As you may or may not know my brother Steve has been chasing one of his grand dreams of cycling across Africa - He went to Africa at the end of June to teach at a conference on Literacy of West Africa.- After that he's been riding since the beginning of August and has crossed much of West Africa.- On September 21 he last communicated with us via email and his blog http://justaboutcrazy.blogspot.com/ from Zinder, Niger- His plan was to cycle across the northern tip of Nigeria into Moroua, Cameroon and meet up with a friend from his time there. He also mention he'd probably would not have access to communication until he arrived- He was planning to arrive on September 30. BUT he never showed up.- After worrying for a few days we started to get worried. - Sunday Steve's contact in Cameroon phoned us worried about where Steve was- On Monday Mom and Dad register him with the Canadian Government as ' Missing persons Abroad' and contacted the Embassy in Nigeria.- We always expected he'd show up eventually with one of his normal crazy, bizarre stories. That was not to be this time:Today (Tuesday) we got word back from the Embassy and the Government that they had found Steve's body in a police station in Northern Nigeria: - Steve was killed in a car accident and died back on September 26. - The embassy is sending a team of people up there and we'll get more details then. Steve died in the midst of fulfilling his dream in a place where God gave Steve's heart a great love and longing for. Steve has gone home to be with his Lord and Saviour Jesus, and I will miss him till the day I get to see him again. Please prayer for our family and his friends in our time of loss. Dave Rehn

I'm SO disappointed with my Realtor

2008-11-05T16:14:00.004-07:00

Let me start by stating the following:

1. I am aware that the real estate market is not what it used to be.
2. As my husband continues to point out... I really don't know what a realtor does behind the scenes.

I am having a problem with my realtor. In fact I am having a problem with all Realtors. Near the beginning of Sept. my husband and I met with a realtor about listing our house. This realtor arrived at our house with a thick duo tang filled with printouts of every bungalow for sale in our area and every bungalow that has sold in our area in the last month. The realtor went through the duo tang with us and when she reached the last page it had a summary:

Highest sale price: $ X
Middle sale price: $ X
Lowest sale price: $ X

Average sale price: $ X

You should sell for $ X.

It sounds reasonable, except all the numbers were the same because only one bungalow had sold in our area.

Here's the problem. I'm a math teacher and average is not the only way to assess data and is in this case not the best way to interpret the data. Median would be important. This is the middle point between highest and lowest. But at the end of the day I would like to know the mode. What is the price that occurs most often.

I had a bigger problem with this. ONLY ONE HOUSE HAD SOLD SO HOW CAN YOU MAKE ANY CONCLUSIONS ON THAT? AND HOW CAN YOU RECOMMEND I SELL FOR THE SAME PRICE AS THAT ONE LOWLY HOUSE?

In the next breath this realtor told us we would need to lower our price after the first week and probably lower again after another week or two. She also told us that she no longer did realtor showings (when they bring all their colleagues over for a showing) since the big boom they stopped doing that and she had never sold in our area.

I wanted a second opinion. The house next door had recently sold so I called the realtor. She was going on holiday's and wanted us to meet with her after she got back. Ok. That was our first mistake. We agreed to wait. She met with us. She lived up the street and had sold many houses in our area. She suggested a price that was closer to what we were thinking and she did realtor showings. And we signed up with her. However, she doesn't do open houses because in her experience people don't buy from open houses. Also since the market is a bit slower she wanted us to sign up longer than 60 days. Ok. That was our second mistake. We signed up for a looooong time.

We were only on the market for a week before she asked us to lower our price. She sent us an email with all the bungalows for sale in Northwest Calgary and we agreed we were listed at the high end and didn't have the granite counter tops to support it.

In the mean time our friends and family that were looking at our house on line we saying things like... there are a lot of spelling mistakes in the write up... the pictures are really dark.... what a bad picture... I can't see your house in this picture because half your neighbor's house is also in the picture.

We told her about the spelling mistakes. She said she would fix them. We told her were getting negative feedback about the pictures. She said that she asked around the office and everyone felt they were fine oh and by the way she thinks we may need to lower the price.

After five weeks we get an email from our realtor. She thinks we should lower our price. We told her we couldn't do that and could she change the pictures since we were still getting negative feedback. We also asked if we needed to have our house staged and were told no. We double checked to make sure our house was still priced similar to the other bungalows and it was. She said she would come and take some new pictures. That was last week. As of today, one picture has been changed but not the one we were most upset about. The spelling mistakes have not been fixed. I realize that spelling mistakes wouldn't chase a buyer away. However the write is written very sloppy, has spelling mistakes and bad pictures. I must ask DOES SHE REALLY WANT TO SELL OUR HOUSE? She has us for a loooong time. .

So here is my opinion of Realtors in Calgary based on my experience with these two. They lived the easy life during the boom and now they don't know how work to sell a house. When the boom was on... they would put the house on MLS and set a time and day to receive offers. They would show up on that day and there would be a line up of buyers who were willing to pay more than the asking price. The realtor would look at all the offers and take the best one. At the end of the day they had made huge amounts of money. During that time they forgot how to work. Now that the market has slowed down they don't know what to do. They put the house on MLS and wait for the buyers to come. They don't network with realtor showings, they don't do open houses, they don't send out flyer's... they don't know how to find buyers. So they pressure the seller to lower the asking price and an update gets sent out to all the other Realtors to remind them that there is a house for sale but now at a lower price. If that doesn't work then they ask the seller to lower the price again so they can send out a new update. When we lower our price by $30 000 she loses loose change in commission but we loose years of mortgage payments.

The Phone...

2008-10-22T20:44:00.004-06:00

I got caught in a weak moment and said I would provide some financial support to a phone solicitor. They sent me the form but I must admit I was tardy in returning it with a cheque. They phoned me again and this time they were willing to take my credit card number. I have to admit I was a little annoyed at this point but I wanted to honour my word and gave them my credit card number.

"Now don't laugh or hang up on me but we failed to reach our goal so we are asking our generous donors to contribute more. Would you be able to..."

Are you kidding me? These people harass and harass and harass. I just gave them money and instead of saying thank-you they asked for more!!!

Then there is the survey approach. "We would just like to complete a quick survey... and would you like us to send your our material to your email address or home address?" I finally asked if I was allowed to say No since I had already said No 5 times and they continued with their spiel. They aren't even listening. Try telling them to take you off their phone list; you'll probably have to say it 3 times before they hear you and they have a canned response for that too. Try hanging up on them and not feel guilty. I can't.

This same survey group have called us 3 times in the last 24 hours. It might have been better if I had just hung up this time. Instead I said "You have called me 3 times in the last 24 hours. I have already done your survey and I'm not interested." I hope you read that with an angry voice. Since I didn't agree to take their material they just keep calling. Sweet revenge on my poor annoyed soul.

Then there are the pre-recorded pitches. "This is your second and final chance to change your credit card. You are paying high interest rates... press one to speak to a representative." I have hung up. My answering machine has been filled with the spiel. I have listened to the recording to the end in hopes of finding the "out" option; like pressing number two. The irony is that my second and final chance has called 5 times in the last 6 months.

I thought that this would change when we moved since we are (the phone just rang guess who? I could scream!!!) getting a new number. Not so lucky. While my husband was wiring the new house the phone rang. The first phone call on our new phone was a credit card company. I do believe we have had more than one credit card company call.

I have had enough. I have just registered us for the CRTC's Do Not Call List. It was so easy, I just hope it works. There are limitations to who can't call but still... can we have some relief?

The great loss of something so wonderful...

2008-08-28T19:51:00.005-06:00

I've been working with teenagers for 15 years. About a month ago I found out that one of the teens I worked with had died from a drug overdose. He died in 2006 but I hadn't heard until now. I was struck with an intense sadness. Two weeks later a former student of mine committed suicide. He was 21 and had struggled with a crack addiction for most of his young adult life. It makes me so sad. I'm so sad at the lost potential of who these young men were and what they were becoming. When I walk into a classroom at the being of a school year I am excited to meet each of my students. In a year we spend a lot of time together and we learn a lot about each other and I love them. I love the rawness of who they are; the emotions, the creativity, the humor and the glimpse of who they are going be as adults. When I think of these two boys I remember them and the potiential I saw in them. What a loss. It's so sad that they will never reach the full potential of who they were. The drugs dragged them down and ruined them.

I'm saddened even more when I realize the struggle they both had. I believe Ky committed suicide because he wanted to break free of the drugs and he couldn't. His addiction ultimately beat him down. I can't even imagine the struggle. Both of these boys were always trying to get it right with themselves, with God and those around them.

Recently one of my neighbors caught her husband having an affair. Again I am struck by the brokeness of people and it makes me sad. I am sad for her and her family but I mostly sad for her husband. I am sad because he also struggles, like the boys, making a bad decision that ultimately has long term consquences. He is still living and breathing but I would bet anything he is as broken hearted as the two boys.

All these things remind me of the love God has for us and the patience. I sit here crying for these people and their brokeness; saddened by the lost potiential of who these people could be and I wonder how great is the love God has for us that He know how broken we all are. He knows our struggles and He patiently waits for us to come around. How sad He must be when we don't reach our full potential.

2008-08-12T19:53:00.002-06:00

My husband loves a good joke... or what he perceives is a good joke. Every night he climbs into bed before me and plants himself in the middle of the bed. Every night I climb in and say "Can you move over a little bit?" Every night he responds by extending his arm until its hanging over the edge of the bed and says "What? I'm hanging off the edge" Every Night.

One night I respond with "This isn't funny anymore. We have been married for over 8 years and just for fun lets say there are 300 days in the year. That means I have heard this joke about 2400 times. It's not funny anymore."

Him - "I'm aiming for 10000" HA HA HA

This is my husband. The man who puts the kids toys under my pillow at night before I come to bed. I've even found a few between the sheet and bed. So I should have known...

Yesterday he calls me from work and asks what is a mill. Mill... a unit of measurement? A place that grounds wheat into flour? No... MIL. Somebody read my blog. Somebody who has been asked numerous times if he read my blog finally did. "Are you mad?" NO. "What did you think?" NOTHING.

Should have known...

I had a roast in the crockpot when he got home. "Would you like me to check the roast? Don't want to dry it out. It will keep cooking if we turn it off. Look at the thermometer it's close lets take it out..." On and On and On...nope not mad... full of one liners and ready to milk it dry...

just like all the other jokes...

How done is done

2008-07-20T14:59:00.002-06:00

When you get married you both bring different customs and practices to the marriage and sometimes they clash. This became blatantly clear when I watched my MIL clean the kitchen floor with the dish rag and put it back in the sink. My Mother would skin my hide if I did that. Most of those things are resolved in the first couple years of marriage but there are always a few differences that linger. If they linger long enough they become issues.

We have an issue with cooking meat in our house which was clearly illustrated a couple of Christmas' ago. Both my parents and my husbands Mom were here to celebrate. My Mom and I had spent the day carefully preparing the turkey. Everything was taken into consideration; how long to thaw it out, how heavy was it, how long would it need to cook and when did we want to eat etc. The potatoes are finished. The gravy made. The vegetables are done and the salad is on the table. The turkey is checked... by my MIL and husband. They took the turkey out earlier then my Mom and I had planned. The meat thermometer had not reached the poultry finished line; it was close but not there. My Mom did not believe the turkey was done and the cooking time and meat thermometer supported her position. She left the room visible upset. However, that turkey came out and was eaten. We survived but it shows the different backgrounds we come from. My family... wait until the thermometer gets there... don't take any chances... it's better dry than under cooked. His family... you don't want to over cook... it will keep cooking even after you take it off the heat... close it good enough... if the rest of the meal is ready the meat is done.

Another thanksgiving we are at my husbands Aunts. The whole family is there and they ask my husband to carve the Turkey. As he cuts into it he realizes the turkey isn't done. Like really isn't done. It's bright pink on the inside. Still slimy. Most people would have put it back in the oven. Not his family. They (my husband) cut off the parts that look done and served it up. Even if I hadn't been pregnant and experiencing some morning sickness I wouldn't have eaten that turkey. Hello- its still raw! I made darn sure Grandma didn't put any of it on my daughter's plate too. She looked at me strange but that's pretty usual.

This particular difference has become an issue. I don't know how many times I have cut into a piece of BBQ to see... not cooked enough... pink chicken or especially pork... still fleshy and put it into the microwave. He even likes his french fries a little on the undercooked side and he gets so offended when I say anything or microwave things. He once told me that he wouldn't cook anymore, after I suggested he ask for a second opinion before he declares something done. That's great! So my options are eat raw meat or do all the cooking.

If I had only known I needed to get food poisoning once to stop the arguments. Things have been a little different since early this summer. We were camping with his mom (who always takes his side on this. "I like mine a little on the rare side" and always seems to be around when it happens. ) and my husband starts cooking up the bacon. Within hours we are all pooping. Thank goodness the girls never ate any. They also didn't eat any potato chips the night before but food poisoning from potato chips sounds a little weak when there is bacon involved. We come home and poop. Three days of pooping with a combined weight loss of 15ish pounds and we know it's food poisoning. The chills and stomach craps. No more said. The doctor confirms it and gives us meds.

A couple days later we are good until... the BBQ starts again at you guessed it... at the MIL's. He hands me a piece of pork saying "This one is cooked the most."

I cut in and there it is... undercooked pork chops... still fleshy... still bleeding... alot. I say "This isn't done."

MIL says "I'll trade maybe there is another one that is done more. I like mine on the rare side."

Husband "I'll put it back on the BBQ"

What? Trade? Back on the BBQ? Never in all my years of marriage has either of these options been available. Gone is the defensiveness in it's place I have accommodation. Finally!
When I go to a restaurant I am asked "How would you like it done?" Somehow my preferences at home were never really acknowledged; until food poisoning. My answer has never changed and never will change. "I would like it cooked, please... No not kicking... Cooked." and I may just start getting it that way.

RUDE

2008-07-17T21:08:00.002-06:00

A few months ago my daughter and I were leaving the public library and she noticed a teenager with a very large affro sitting by the door.

"Mommy, he has big hair!!!"

A couple of months ago we were in Ikea and she noticed a wheelchair and asked what it was. The elderly couple stopped shopping to show her how it worked and explain what it was for. They were very gracious with their time and explanation.

My oldest daughter is old enough to notice differences and sometimes comments. These comments are innocent observations that sometimes carry some awkwardness.

Recently I made a comment that was tackless and she repeated it. I was told that I was teaching my daughter to be rude. I took great offense to the accusation so lets talk about rude.

Yes, I was rude in front of my daughter. I told a family member they needed a shower. I was tackless by saying it in front of other family members including my daughter. I regret saying it in front of everyone and I would hesitate to repeat the scenario. However, this person needed a shower and was getting on a plane shortly.

What is rude?

Is it more rude to tell someone they need a shower or knowing refuse to shower leaving the lingering BO smell behind you for everyone to enjoy?

Is it more rude to lay down in the guest room for a nap during the day or fail to stay awake in the living room and end up sleeping on the couch snoring all day?

Is it more rude to sleep in the living room snoring loudly for hours on end or watch TV beside someone who is trying to sleep?

I honestly don't know if this person planned to shower that morning or not. Eventually they did and I don't know if I influenced that choice or not. I do know I should have kept my mouth shut or at least exercised more tack.

I'm sure this individuals perception of the weekend is different that mine. From my point of view it was rude to consider flying on a plane with lingering BO. It was rude to sleep on the couch and chair for hours on end in a common room snoring so loudly that people could not hear the conversation or TV. It was rude to tell me how to parent my child. From their point of view, it was rude of me to comment on their hygiene, especially in front of others. It was rude of me to allow my children to listen to music while they were trying to sleep and it was rude of me to turn the TV up so I could hear it over the snoring.

So what is rude? Is there a degree of rudeness and who gets to decide?

7 degrees of seperation

2008-06-09T20:53:00.002-06:00

There are events in our lives that make time stop; sometimes its just for a second. These events aren't always tragic but many of us can remember where we were when we heard about JFK's assassination, the Berlin Wall coming down, Columbine, 911. I don't remember JFK's assassination but I do remember watching the news about the wall and I remember coming home from work and being horrified as I watched live news coverage of kids fleeing from their school. I remember driving to school to coach volleyball and hearing about a plane flying into the north tower. I remember thinking that is must have been a little plane that lost control then hearing the rest of the story after volleyball practice in the staff room. I remember watching the replays on TV. I remember these events; I remember where I was, what I was doing and I remember the feelings I felt. These events were significant. I am saddened for the families even though I didn't know them.

Recently in Calgary there was a horrible murder-suicide. 5 people were killed; 2 of them were children. There was one survivor; a little girl who is the same age and shares the same name as my youngest daughter. When the investigation was done, it was concluded that the father was responsible. Why? Why would someone do that to their own family? I remember where I was when I heard. I remember what I felt and thought. I remember grieving for the grandparents and the little girl. I remember thinking about the last moments this family experienced.

I also remember calling my friend and learning that this family, the one in the paper, was closely associated with my friends. I didn't know the Lall family but I do know people that did. Suddenly the horrific events happened are only 2 degrees of seperation from me. They had friends and family who loved them. My friends have pictures of them in their childhood albums sitting around the table. They have pictures of their families together, 3 generations, sitting on the front lawn enjoying an evening together.

When you hear something like this on the news you are disturbed, shaken, saddened. You are also removed. When you know someone who knew the family, you are disturbed, shaken and saddened on a whole new level. But when you knew the Lalls you grieve. You remember a lifetime of who they were and how they were a part of your life.

My heart goes out to my friends... who have lost their friends.

2008-05-01T14:14:00.001-06:00

Just where do we get off?

2008-04-28T08:17:00.003-06:00

Just where do we get off? I've recently been reflecting that our generation treat our friends better than our parents. Maybe it's our society but call it what you want, we do treat our friends better than our parents. Think about it for a minute...

When your friends invite you over for dinner the first thing you ask is "What can I bring?" When your parent invite you over for dinner the only thing you ask is "What time should I come?"

I know someone who moved out of their parents house almost a year ago and still hasn't removed their stuff from their old bedroom. The stuff is still spread all over the room; the carpet still needs to be vacummed. The room is unusable. Our old room mates would never let us get away with this.

I know someone else who used to do their grocery shopping at their mom's house. What would your friends say if you came over and emptied out the cupboard? To make matters worse this same person took food from their parents freezer and left it as a thank you at someone else house.

Could you imagine what our friends would say if the next time we go out to a resturant we looked expectantly at them when the bill came... just like we do our parents...?

It makes me think how much we take our parents for granted.

It doesn't get any better when you have kids. It's generally assumed that the grandparents would love to babysit... and if your an hour late that's ok... it's good grandparent time... and it's free and the girl next door costs $6/hr.

I can't speak for the rest of society but I'm going to try better. My parents are important to me so maybe it's time to start treating them more like my friends.

Which comes first the egg or the chicken

2008-04-23T15:13:00.003-06:00

The other day my husband put on this old (15years?) t-shirt to go out in. He hadn't shaved in at least a week and had just informed me that he isn't going to cut his hair until after he sees Iron Maiden in June. The last hair cut was Jan 4; the day of my brother's wedding.

Why bother trying if this is how he is going to be? And I told him just that.

So lets take stock. My last hair cut was in Dec. I have four identical t-shirts which I have worn two days in a row...

When did we stop trying? For me it came with the kids; the changed body of pregnacy, wearing clothes that are easiest to nurse in, the lack of personal time and the change it income.

Take shopping for instance. Just picture trying on clothes (because who knows what size you are anymore) with Anna trying to climb out of the stroller (I caught her standing on the high chair tray this week) and Tesla opening and closing the dressing room door just as I have disrobed.

To be fair, I haven't totally given up. I did call the stylist earlier today and I do have some new clothes that I wear when the laundry has been done. I also took a stand for Karl. I told him that any of his shirts that have more than eight holes in them will be thrown away. I think he's in our room hiding them.

Old friends

2008-02-29T20:03:00.002-07:00

What is it about the people that you use to work with?

I've changed schools four times in the last 5 years and every single one of them have been great experiences. I loved the people I worked with and considered them friends. After leaving each one of them I find myself grieving the lost friends. I still think about the people from my first school. We worked together in a learning community and spent a lot of time together. We cared about the same students and each other. We attended each others weddings and celebrated the babies. We got together outside of work and we knew the joys and disappointments each was experiencing. Yet when we all went our seperate ways; we lost touch. My friends are not longer my friends. I run into them once and a while but I really can't say we are friends. It's just different and I sometimes get the feeling they don't want to run into me.

It doesn't seem to make a difference where I work because it's always the same. I can think of two people from more recent years that I am starting to grieve over the loss of their friendship. It's not like I don't try. I phone, I write but after a while I stop. When it starts to feel like I'm the only one phoning or writing then it's time to stop. I think I care too much and when I start to feel dropped; I stop. It's not that I don't care about these people because I do. When your friends with people you know things about their lives, like struggling marriages and financial problems and you wonder if there has been any resolution. I hope for resolution. I still care for these people but from a distance. I think that's what makes it sorrowful because when the phone calls stop you still care but have no clue how things are really going.

So to all my old friends that I have lost touch with... I hope things are going well!

Just punch me in the face...

2008-02-22T21:14:00.002-07:00

Recently one of my facebook friends posted his status as "somebody punch me in the face if I ever decide to live with a woman again" It got me thinking; so I asked my husband if he thought living with a woman was hard. He didn't say much. That was last night.

Tonight we were making the guest bed together and I found myself instructing him about which way the top sheet should face and how the pillow case should fit the pillow and how the blankets should be folded down and how the pillows should sit on the bed and.... I started thinking maybe this is why men think women are hard to live with.

Women are raised by their mother's to do things the "right" way. Oh so many things are ingrained in our heads about how to clean and where to put things away ect, ect. Men are also trained by their mothers but not in the same way. Men are trained that if its sort of close then they were helpful. I think this is why when men and women first start living together there are issues. I have particular issues with the linen closet, pantry and dishwasher. I hate openning the linen closet and finding wash clothes in the middle of a towel pile or towels that are different sizes stacked together. (For the record there is more than one shelf in the pantry, linen closet and fridge.) I was taught that if your going to do it do it right. From his prespective he at least put it in the right cupboard. To complicate matters every family does it a little different. So when we start playing house and the women is doing it "right" and the man is being helpful and then you mix different household standards together you get friction. For example when your husband uses the dishcloth to wipe the floor and then puts it back in the sink to wash dishes with that may not be up to your standard even if it was ok in his mom's house. This is why women end up doing it themselves or over again. After a few years together we stop trying to teach the men how to do and instead we thank them for their help then when they aren't looking we fix it. Eventually they just stop helping to the relief of the woman. Brillant!

Now back to my friend who wants to be punched in the face. He obviously didn't get past the women trying to teach him phase. Which from his prespective she's just nagging all the time. My husband on the other hand has made it the eight year and is now close to off the hook.

I asked him tonight "You know when I asked you the other night if it was hard living with a woman... Does that question fit into the same category as Am I fat?" He just laughed and said "No comment."

I'm a better MOM.

2008-02-07T10:38:00.000-07:00

I keep hearing women say they are better Mom's because they work.

When Tesla was 13 months old I started subbing for two days a week. Sometimes it was half days but it always added up to two days a week. Karl was finishing his last year of school and we had troubles making ends meet while living on 2 EI cheques for three months. We knew I had to return to work to pay off those bills. It killed me to leave Tesla, but after a few times it got easier. I would get to the school and start teaching. I love teaching! And the truth is after a while I didn't worry about Tesla or even think about her until it was time to pick her up.

After 6 months, I got a phone call for a full time position until the end of the school year. I had been standing in church the previous Sunday telling God about our finances and two days later got this phone call. 3 months of full time in a high school. I needed high school experience. I can't teach night school unless I have high school experience... that's why I was subbing. I took the job. I love teaching! I love teaching high school!

But always in the back of my mind I could never quite get away from feeling torn. I loved my job. I am good at my job but I have a responsibility to the one I brought into this world. Was I skipping out of my responsibility by leaving her in someone else's care? What a slippery slope... Tesla was fine for those days subbing and she would be fine for those 3 months. This was the first time I heard another women say she was a better mom because she worked.

The following year I worked part time in a different high school. Again I loved my job. I was pregnant with Anna and Tesla was in a good day home. Things were good. Except for the 3 hour battles to get Tesla into bed and the days when she was sick and we would toss a coin to see who would stay home with her and a few other things. I came home from work on March 15, a month before Anna was born and I took a long look at Tesla and I knew I had lost something. She had changed in the last year and I had missed it.

Recently I was watching Friday Night Lights and one of the characters was struggling to take her baby to daycare. I felt sick with anxiety just watching.

There are days when I know work would be easier. I don't enjoy playing Dora all day everyday. I'm not a great housewife... our house is a mess. But our kids are happier. What is best for me is not what is best for them. The night time battles have ended.

Tesla goes to preschool 4.5 hours a week. This gives me a chance to do some things for me and Tesla loves it. When women say they are better Mom's because they work I have to know more information before I can agree or disagree. The big question is how much do you work? If you are dropping your child off at 7 Am and picking them up at 5 and have them in bed by 7 Pm everyday, then I can not agree with you. You are not a better mom. I can say that because I have done it. You are a Mom who enjoys work. If you are a Mom who works a couple of days a week then maybe... if it gives you the break you need to play a better Dora I might be willing to listen to you.

Blogging

2008-01-30T08:34:00.000-07:00

My Mom called me the other day. She told me I need to look at my cousin's blog to get some better ideas on what to write about. Mean while my friend Cal keeps telling me that my stories are so funny... that I should write them down and get them published. I'm not sure if he is really serious but as I told him "No one reads my blog so why would they read my book?" Which brings me back to my Mom's advice...

The truth is that if I wrote down all my opinions (because that's really what Cal thinks is so amusing) I won't have any friends or family left that would speak to me. Cal is married to my nearest and dearest friend so he gets everything... the unfiltered, unedited, completely unthoughtout verbal diarea from my mouth... actually from his wife's mouth which originated from mine. Maybe she puts a good spin on my stories... Maybe his wife should write down everything I say... Maybe she could make the millions...

It's under the bed

2007-11-01T10:28:00.000-06:00

My husband loves Iron Maiden. He has the ugliest shirt to prove it. Last week he wore it Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

On Monday our daughter said "Daddy that's an ugly shirt. You should take it off."

On Tuesday I said "You wore that shirt yesterday. Isn't it dirty?"

On Wednesday I said "That's three days in a row. It might be time for a new shirt."

On Thurday I said nothing.

On Friday I was doing laundry and saw the shirt on the floor and I pushed it under the bed!

I start these wars and then I don't know how to finish them. Right now there are Iron Maiden pictures being left all over the house. His friends are sending me messages on Facebook. They are negotiating the return of the shirt. This is war and I'm going to have to figure out my next move.

Who is in Charge Here?

2007-10-02T14:21:00.000-06:00

I'm finally ready to admit that I'm not really in charge. The last two days have made that crystal clear. Truthfully I should have known when we moved Tesla out of the crib. At that point she discovered that she could get out of bed on her own and proceeded to do it... a lot. I tried everything. One night I walked her back to bed 45 times in 25 minutes. I didn't say a word and it still didn't work. We even put a gate on her bedroom door since she could open her door. It takes a lot of work, time and energy to put Tesla to bed; nap times included.

When you have a baby they tell you to feed on demand. I wonder if this set us up to put them in charge. I mean really, right from birth we let them decide when they are going to sleep and eat. Anna, number two baby is completely mixed up. She likes to sleep all day and eat all night. The first nine weeks consisted of her crying from 2 to 3:30 am every night. She stopped that... but she still would prefer to eat during the night. At least twice a week I can't get her to eat between 7 am and 2 pm. So I decided that it's time to help sort her out or we could be in real trouble. They get more persistant the older they get. I've cut her night time feedings to 1 possibly 2. Realistically she should be able to sleep from 8 to 8 without a feeding. This is where is becomes clear that I'm not really in charge. If I was in charge, Tesla would go back to sleep at 6 am or she would play by herself until the rest of us got up. Instead on Monday morning she gets up... crying. I think Ok you're still tired. I offer her my bed. No. I offer her her bed. No. I offer her to sit quietly and read her books. No. If she wasn't sharing a room with Anna she would be in it crying by herself. Alas they share a room. Her Dad takes over. Great! Until he leaves for work at 6:20. More crying. Now I hear Anna stirring on the baby monitor. I have a talk with Tesla about not being the only one in the house and if she wants to be up fine but there are still people sleeping and she is not to wake them up with crying. It works!!! One point for me!!! Maybe I am in charge.

On to Anna. Last night I feed her at 8. I feed her at 11. She woke up at 12:30. I gave her a soother. She woke up at 2:00. I let her cry until Karl said are you going to get that? Not a chance. He got it because he was worried that Tesla would wake up. She woke up at 2:30. I rocked her and realized she isn't hungry just unsettled. Back to bed by 2:40. Tesla woke up at 4. Crying. Her blankets had fallen off and she was cold. Anna woke up at 4:30. I feed her. Tesla woke up at 7. Her Dad left for work at 7:20... so now I'm up. I haven't had 3 hours of sleep in a row for weeks and I know I'm not running this show.

So nap time today... Tesla has given up her naps. I still insist she sits in her room and reads books by herself for an hour. She always spends the last 20 minutes calling "Mom is it done?" Today I decide Tesla should nap. Her Dad and I are tired of the whining and know she is tired. If she has a nap we chase her to bed until 11:00. If she doesn't have a nap we have whining and crying from 3 until bed time. It's a tough transition. So I nurse Anna and put her to bed. I start reading to Tesla, thinking she might fall asleep while I read to her. That is until Anna started crying. Then I think maybe if I let Anna cry she will fall asleep again. Until it gets so bad I put the book down, burp Anna, feed her some more. Mean while Tesla is dancing around the room, having found her second wind. Why can't she go somewhere else? Why does she always want to be with me? Once Anna is asleep I finish Tesla's book. I tuck her into bed and successfully have her quiet, even while I rock Anna back to sleep. (Her sister woke her up when I convinced her to be quiet) 10 minutes later... Mom I have to go to the bathroom. It's legitimate. I tell her she can read books quietly in her room. Which she is doing right now. Her sister is asleep in the same room.

For 2 whole minutes I was in charge. The battle was fought and I won. In 10 more minutes quiet time will be over and it will start again.

Stupid Passwords

2007-09-16T18:38:00.000-06:00

So I've been trying to update my blog... since I do it so frequently I have to reset my password everytime I try to log on. Last time I was on, blogger forced me to use their updated version and then I was done. I spent an hour last night trying to remember what my new email address was, my user name, and of course my password.

My employer forces everyone to change their password every three months. Every new password must contain a capital letter, some symbol and a number. It must be more than 6 characters long and not used in the past. Try it. Try coming up with 4 passwords (enough for a year) that fit this criteria and you will remember them. A collegue of mine makes a good point. In their attempt to increase security they have probably decreased it since we all have a list of passwords written down on a piece of paper in our desk or beside our computer.

I better go write down my blogger password before I forget it. You will find it on a piece of paper beside my computer.

Camping on the long weekend

2007-07-26T14:19:00.000-06:00

It's been so long...

2006-12-11T13:49:00.000-07:00

Pregnancy does something to a person... like make them not want to blog, read books, eat (depending on the morning sickness.) So since hockey has started the following things have been going on in our house:

Tesla and Karl get sick with a bad cold
Tesla gets sick with another bad cold
I get a bad sinus infection
Karl takes on a huge side job (same week I have the sinus infection)
Karl has cataract surgery (next one next week)
Morning sickness ends at week 18.5 of pregnancy at least enough to stop taking drugs.
Karl started drinking more. (Definitely connected to me being pregnant... more on that later)

I know this is all very exciting. It explains a lot. Like

why our dayhome provider is broke. Thanks to many sick days. (I actually don't see her finances but I can only assume)
why sunlife and blue cross aren't returning our phone calls (It pays to have a health provider)
why our friends only want to talk to us on the phone.

Since I'm into lists here is a list of things I would like to blog about but really don't think its appropriate since I tend to have a lot of opinions. It's a short list.

Other people. Actually one in particular but contrary to popular belief I really do love this person I just think they're slightly crazy. Don't worry it's not Karl. Maybe I should start a secret blog. Or maybe I'm the crazy one and no one is willing to say anything. (Hafta love those hormones.) Or maybe your all thinking I want to blog about you and your going crazy just thinking about it.

It's time to end this day's entry. Just one more thing...

At church last month they were talking about forgiveness and it was suggested that if your feeling have been hurt you need to tell the offender. I mostly agree with this however, if you aren't or haven't seen the person for a long time since the offence (because they move away or change social groups) and probably won't see them again, should you seek the person out and tell them your feelings were hurt or should you just let sleeping dogs lie and lick your own wounds?

Hockey is going to start. Sigh!

2006-10-03T19:06:00.000-06:00

My husband loves hockey. He loves the oilers. He loves oiler hockey so much that we watched every games last year. I mean every game... not just the oiler's. Apparently when you cheer for a team you have to know how the competition is doing. If you can't watch it you have to listen to it on the radio. In normal years, the oilers have been elimanted in the first round (by Dallas) but not last year. Edmonton's last game was in June and their first game is Thursday. I think I need another hockey strike!

The f-word

2006-08-28T13:18:00.000-06:00

Somebody taught my daughter the f-word.
Yesterday, she pointed to another person and said "fat body."

I am not happy!

I have worked with too many anorexic teenagers and struggled with my own weight to be even remotely happy that my two year old knows, understands and uses the word fat. So we are reinforcing to the world that the f-word is not to be used around our daughter and especially not used to describe our daughter.

If you need an alternative to describe Tesla you can try... cute, strong, naked (if she is naked)... to name just a few.

Happy Birthday

2006-08-21T14:11:00.000-06:00

Thanks everyone for making Tesla's birthday so much fun!

This is not a diary

2006-08-10T22:48:00.000-06:00

I was talking to one of my nearest and dearest friends the other day and I was telling her about all the things I would like to blog but can't since anyone can read my blog. I'm just not brave enough...

If this was a diary I might tell you that this week has been crummy... but this is not a diary. So I have nothing to say... until later.

Is this war?

2006-07-30T20:59:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we were at the mall, just looking around while our Japanese student did some shopping. We went into Toys R Us to get some birthday gift ideas for Tesla's upcoming birthday. For 1/2 hr, I pointed to things and shared my ideas. Finally I said "I'm not getting much feedback from you"

Nothing.

I said again "I'm not getting a lot of feedback. What do you think?"

Karl - "I don't want to get anything with a lot of pieces that have to be picked up"

Me - "Because you pick up a lot of toys?"

Karl (sheepishly) - "I do it all the time..." If you know my husband you know he used the same tone as he uses when he tells me he owns a stealth bomber, which is parked behind his mom's barn.

Me - "Well why don't we buy our own gifts for her this year"

Karl - "Ok"

So this morning...

Me - "Karl, I don't want this to be a contest on who can get Tesla the best birthday gift."

Karl - "It's not. I already know what you are getting her. You told me yesterday."

Exactly!

Toilet pictures

2006-07-23T22:00:00.000-06:00

So my brother told me that 50% of my blog pictures are of my daughter playing in the toilet. I went back and checked... It's true! I'm left speechless as I contemplate what other pictures I can post to change this slightly weird statistic. I may have to take a plethora of useless pictures to rectify the situation.

My girlfriend just had her third baby this week. 6-7 hours of labor. 1 push. They recently sent me an email filled with pictures of their beautiful family. If I had her permission I would post the one of the mother and baby... The one where the mother looks great! I would never post the picture of me after 27 hours of induced labour, no pushing, c-section, extra drugs and water retention, taken 3 days later. I asked them to leave the cameras at home. I also asked them not to come to the delivery room but that's another story. I may have to consider hiring her as a surrogate, although she tells me she is done.

Congraduations guys we're very happy for you and your family!

We are currently hosting our third Japanese exchange student. (Note: the photo statistics have now changed. 40% of the pictures are toilet pictures) It is common for them to come baring gifts. Doesn't Tesla look beautiful, and proud in her new Yukata?

I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do with our student. Karl is working nights and Tesla goes to bed at 7 which makes us homebound in the evenings. She likes sports. Not drawing. Not reading. Not games. Maybe movies. I'll have to keep thinking. Hopefully the answers come faster then my new blog name. I'm still thinking about that one too.

My quest for youth

2006-07-13T19:56:00.000-06:00

It happened again... I got sucked into another person's blog. A complete stranger. This time it was written from a "baby boomer" who was re-entering the dating scene. Too bad she's too old for the guy who is writing his blog about how his future wife is going to fall out of the sky (or something) since he is purposefully not meeting people. (See previous blog if you are confused)

So earlier this year I decided I had to do something to keep my youth. Call it a mini-midlife crisis if you will. Some might dye their hair, go back to school, get contacts or shave off their mustache. Wait that was my Dad's midlife crisis, back in Sept of 1989.

So I decided I needed to MSN. My students have been talking about it for years. The thing is I was curious about it and completely at a loss as to how to do it. This is where the keeping my youth comes in. I had this great uncle who started golfing in his mid-seventies. He was using email when he turned 80. He was young because he embraced life and continued to learn new things. MSN was not going to intimidate me because I am young! So I asked my brother. He helped me set it up and I was off to the races. I emailed all my friends "Hey guess what I'm on MSN now..."

One of my nearest and dearest friends told me flat out "No, I am not MSNing." She calls the computer the other women since her husband works on it so much. I let her off the hook.

One of my other nearest and dearest friends did MSN. We tried it out one night. After we had exhausted all of the fancy buttons... you know the ones that shake the screen or blow up, she phoned me; said it was too slow typing and easier to talk.

I spent a week checking continuously to see who was on line... waiting for them to initiate a conversation. I could see they were on line. Why weren't they writing me? Finally I decided to make first contact and I got a response... It was my brother who lives with us. He walked into our office and told me "MSNing someone who is within shouting distance is pathetic" There you have it my quest for youth... pathetic.

Meanest Mommy

2006-07-11T09:28:00.000-06:00

I am sure Tesla thought I was the meanest mommy ever. Yesterday I was cleaning the bathroom but from her perspective I was doing all the fun things she like to do... with out her help. To her it looked like I was "washing my hands in bubbles in the sink." Then I made a bath with bubbles that she wasn't allowed to take even after she had stripped off her clothes and started to climb in. Finally, I used the thing she is not allowed to play with and dipped in and around the toilet. She even said nicely "Tesla help mommy do it." She is not allowed to play with the toilet brush but for some reason her mommy is? What a cruel joke!

My Little Buttercup

2006-07-06T12:55:00.000-06:00

This was taken yesterday as we enjoyed the crystal blue water in our kiddy pool and the wildlife mosquitoes which eventually drove up indoors.

On a different note... The bar has been set. If you get a chance visit redneckmommy.blogspot.com
This women is hilarious, witty and oh so sarcastic. In comparision, I have a standardized template combined with a lack of personality. Even now I struggle to think of something fun and witty and realize I have fallen short. I'll have to think about it for a while. Who knows maybe a better blog name will come to me in the process.

It's an addiction

2006-07-05T22:34:00.000-06:00

I can't get enough. Yesterday I started reading other peoples blogs. It started innocently enough and now I can't stay away.

Three blogs stand out in my mind. The first two were blogs that were recently updated. One was a prayer journal from a women in Colorado who started each blog with "Dear God..." I thought it was a good idea but didn't stay very long. Next I visited a site of a very desperate man who is looking for a wife without actually looking. His whole blog is dedicated to his search for a wife but states that he isn't going to date or actually try to meet someone. I think he is hoping a nice girl will come across his blog and the rest will be history. I could write a whole new blog about this guy and what I think of his wife finding strategy.

The last blog I visited came by chance. It is actually a set of blogs by the same women. I was searching blogs trying to find out how easy it was to find mine and came across the first of the two. It was about being a hockey widow and becoming a hockey wife. Interesting. I checked out her top 100 things about her and came across her second blog. This blog was about the tragic loss of her youngest child and the grief she is feeling. I shed so many tears as I read it. She is so open and honest with her feelings. I hesitate to be so open. Yet her words and thought expressed in her blog are obliviously part of her healing. I read everything. Her entries and the comments that people have shared. What a beautiful tribute to her son and the love she has for him.

Just another day

2006-07-04T14:23:00.000-06:00

Things I covet...
1. Trips to hot places
2. My brothers blog name

I created this blog on a whim and sadly realize that I have a very unoriginal blog name. It is with more sadness I realize that I still can't think of a better one. The irony is that a viewer of my blog created his own blog to comment on mine. It would appear that he didn't even want a blog but has received more viewers than mine. I have attributed this to a more catchy blog name, refusing to admit he might have more interesting things to say.

So I finished work last week. I love teaching and I am out of a job but not worried. In fact I am enjoying my daughter. Today is day 1 of us since work. So far we have driven Daddy to work, vacuumed some of the house, done the dishes, had a play date, and currently one of us is napping. What a great day!

I am concerned about the other two girls who are also not able to return to my last school. It's all in perspective. I have a husband who works hard and pays the bills. I have worked in many different schools and have said good-bye before and I have something to look forward to... At home. If I was the main bread winner of our family and a relatively new teacher I would be worried, no, I would be devastated that I was out of a job. So I worry for those girls.

Those first few years of marriage can be stretching. When we were first married we had it all planned out. We would both work for a few years then have kids etc. I had a good job and Karl had just finished school. Shortly after we were married he started getting migraines. He decided to go back to school. Even though I had a good job it was still tight. (No trips! No kids!) I can't imagine how we would have survived if we had both been in school. Then there are our friends who got pregnant within the first year, even month of marriage. Unplanned. There are the ones who couldn't find jobs right out of school or realized they hate the jobs they trained for. There are countless friends who have been to the fertility clinic. Some finding no success. Life has no guarantees. It is full of surprises. And we survive. We love, we change, we grow. Would my friends trade the job they hate for the daughter they love? Someone has to feed the family. So my advice to someone getting married... Plan until you are blue in the face but plan expecting that life can happen and things may turn out differently then you expect.

I'm dreaming of...

2006-06-27T19:59:00.000-06:00

As I sit and listen to my colleagues plan their vacations (and some of them have more then one) I find myself skimming the travel websites. Five years ago I could have told you exactly where I wanted to travel. Today I don't care where I go as long as it involves an airplane and a different continent. Of course the total cost of the trip would have to be about $2.50. Unlikely I know.

I have to remind myself what I have chosen instead of travelling... a career, house, husband, daughter... And if we are really honest I don't want to take Tesla on a plane. Could you imagine an almost 2 year old trying to sit still, in one spot for the many hours of flight I long for? In addition, Karl won't get holiday time until November. If I take another teaching job in the fall we will just skip the holiday this year. I better stop looking at the travel websites.

PS. Apparently you can go to Cancun with Atlas Travel for $95 plus tax. Of course you won't have anywhere to stay once you get there.

PPS. DDW - Do you really want a graph? I could make one.

2006-06-20T15:03:00.000-06:00

Day 2

It's like a new toy. I've checked my blog twice today... just to look.

I also showed off a picture of my daughter at work in an obnoxious fashion. I made sure everyone saw her. Comments were welcome.

I've marked 50 exams, had 3 phone calls, finalized my grade 11's marks, debated how to mark specific questions, set up an exam and reset 20 calculators. It has been a very boring day. On the other hand if I was teaching in a Jr. High I would have spent the day chasing grade 7's around, who know that summer is on its way and marks have already been finalized. High school is much better! Tomorrow I'll bring a book.

Hockey Widow

2006-06-19T20:28:00.000-06:00

Tonight I am a hockey widow. The Stanley Cup playoffs are on... so I was looking at my friends blogs and thought maybe I should have one. Here we are...

It's exam time. I am so proud of my grade 11 class. They did great on their final exams! Tomorrow, my grade 10's write their final. Hopefully they will do as well.

My goals for this summer include: potty training my daughter, reading lots of books, visiting with friends, spending time with my family (not necessarily in that order) . We took this picture of her a couple of months ago. She is more interested in the fact that it flushes then what could be flushed. Our work is cut out.

We went camping with our small group this last weekend. It was a lot of fun.

The picture of Karl and Tesla was taken on Sunday morning.

Tesla was getting a little tired of me taking her picture by the end of the morning.